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I can do this....I don't have a choice

May 31st, 2014 at 03:16 pm

Well the only thing that makes me feel better the last few months is working out, a few people who know what to say to make me feel better, and numbers. Since I just threw up I am thinking it's not the time to work out, I already talked to my Mom, Jamie is lost and I don't feel like dragging anybody else down...so that means numbers.

I'm not going to pretend I'm all strong and awesome and gonna be ok right now....but I am gonna figure out what I need to do...so here goes.

I haven't had an actual budget in probably 10 years. Have always been frugal in all areas, so that when we wanted to buy something, we don't need to think about it, we can just buy it since we are always frugal in every area. That is going to have to change.

-I called the bank and left a message for our mortgage officer. I have called her a few months ago and discussed our situation, so she is aware that we may be divorcing and one of us buying out the other. I asked her to call me back and hopefully set up a meeting this week to get an appraisal set up and crunch some numbers. The estimate she gave me previously was $1005 for a monthly payment (I would have to go back to a 30 yr, we are currently 3 years into a 10 yr Frown ) Estimate was for 30yr loan, $150Kish, 4.25% (currently at 2.75% UGH).

-I called and cancelled cable, that will save me $50 a month. They will be shutting it off Monday. I rarely watch TV, I have plenty of DVDs and I have Netflix. If I really wanted to watch something on TV I can go to the gym, or my parents.

So here is what I have for a budget so far. Please let me know if I am missing anything or any suggestions. As I said it has been a LONG time since I actually budgeted my money.

Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $50
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1650

*Mortgage - this is estimated off the numbers I got from the bank a few months ago.
*Heat/Air/Electric - this is an estimate of bills for all year round. I live in ND so we have very cold winters, and very hot summers. I always hold out as long as I can on the heat and air, dress warmer cooler, use blankets or fans etc...but they are both a NEED here so that is my best estimate.
*Cellphone - I do not have a smart phone and have no interest in getting one. This is for a regular phone with unlimited talk and text. I am not willing to change that.
*Gym - There are some cheaper gyms in my area, but I am very comfortable at my gym, it is close enough to walk or bike, is open 24 hrs, and have TVs on all the machines so I could go watch TV there and enjoy the AC if I wanted. In the summer it isn't used as much, but winters here are much too brutal to not have an indoor workout venue. Would like to keep that the same, but will change if needed.
*Internet - Unlimited wireless internet. I can get most sites, including my blog at work (can't get on FB), but would not be doing that on work time. Plus the internet is one of my main sources of entertainment on nights/weekends. I would like this to cost less....not sure what other options there are here, but that is something I can look into.
*Car Insurance - Not sure how this will change, as the $50 is a monthly breakdown of what we have now for two cars. Since I will lose the dual car discount, married discount etc....it may not go down much if at all.
*Fuel - I mainly only drive to work and softball. CVS once a week. Unfortunately I live on the complete other side of town from work so biking or walking would not be an option. However it is only an 11 min drive (if it wasn't ALL uphill I could consider biking in the summer months...but alas I would never make it up all those dang hills). I usually stay at work and work OT until softball time, so no extra driving there. CVS, the mall, grocery store are all close enough that I could easily walk, rollerblade or bike as long as I don't have too heavy of a hall. I need to get my bike in riding shape. I will work on that asap. I think the $100 is a high estimate, but this way I will have a cushion in case I go out of town.
*Groceries - I don't eat much and am fine surviving on yogurt, cereal, fruit, veggies, milk and a few other staples. Already have lots of soup, noodles, rice, spices etc.
*Water - Water bill never really varies much so this shouldn't fluctuate much, or go down slightly since only one person showering.
*Netflix - This is currently at $25 for streaming and 3 DVDs at a time. I don't need the 3 DVDs, that was something DH wanted. I am not sure of the exact cost of just the streaming but I believe it is around $15 or less. I will request DH to cancel the 3 DVDs or open his own account.
*Going out/beer - This one is tricky. Hard to meet new people with out going out at least sometimes. I am going to stop buying beverages for the house (my own drinking has increased a LOT since DH left) and only have drinks after softball. One of my teams prefers to go out after the games (it's usually happy hour...and I don't HAVE to go out every week), the other always tailgates and has a few beers, MUCH cheaper then going out to a bar/restaurant.
*Unaccounted Expenses - Clothes, softball fees, hair cuts, Al-Anon donations, misc household or yard expenses.
*CVS - Since I make money off of most of the items I get at CVS, I am going to try to keep this in my budget. The $25 is actual OOP amounts, not amounts paid with gift cards or extra bucks.

Income:
My take home pay right now is $1000 every two weeks. That is after 6% goes into my 401K and $25 for health insurance. Once DH is off my health insurance, that will go down to $0. So my take home pay will be $2050 per month. That does not include any OT (I average about 7-10 hrs a week in OT which is paid at time + 1/2). I usually have about $200-$250 per paycheck in OT pay. At this time OT is unlimited (up to 12hrs a week that we are open) and it has been for some time, but there is no guarantee that will continue (however I do not foresee the OT stopping at all this year).
I have no plans of cancelling my 401K contributions. I would cancel the gym, Netflix or internet before I would stop that.

So then we have:
$2050 Income
-$1650 Expenses
=$400.00 in the Black each month

So even without OT pay, rummage sales, recycling, FB sales, a second job or a roommate....I should be ok. I will continue to work as much OT as I can, and everything I come in under budget on, plus OT pay will go to savings. I have also reached out to a friend regarding being my roommate...they are going to let me know as they are moving back to town and they aren't sure of an exact date yet. I am not for sure yet if I want a roommate or a 2nd job (I mean I don't want either of those...but you get what I mean).

I will also have roughly $15K in savings when everything is done. So if I had a month where expenses were high I have a good size cushion.

Since tomorrow is June 1, I am going to use this month as a test month for my budget.

Welcome to all comments/advise.

16 Responses to “I can do this....I don't have a choice”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    I know you say you can survive on very little for your grocery budget, but $50 a month? That's $12 a week. Please be careful to keep your nutrition up, especially when you are feeling so emotionally devastated. You have to take care of yourself, not just through exercise (gym, softball), but through what you put in your body. Poor nutrition can make sadness and depression much worse. I'd give yourself some more money in that area. $20 to $25 a week would come a lot closer to ensuring you get what you need to keep yourself healthy.

  2. Another Reader Says:

    Yes you can do it. Your family, your friends, and the Al-Anon folks are all behind you. You WILL do it!

  3. laura Says:


    At this point, I think a rough spending plan is good. I would, however, offer yourself some leeway to do things that bring you enjoyment and relaxation. Massage, a yoga class at your gym, mani/pedi occasionally. Those small things can go far in making us feel better and more peaceful about things. I second LR on having proper nutrition. Crap food always makes me feel crappy, and too much sugar can whack my kids. I do think that it is good to keep busy with softball and working out.

    It is always darkest before the dawn. Please know you're a prayer intention of mine tonight.

  4. Kiki Says:

    I third on the grocery budget being too low. I know you said you have things in cupboard and the freezer but once that goes you have to restock. I would plan $40 a week so that you know you can replenish as necessary. Anything not used can be saved for future weeks or months when needed.

  5. Banker Gurl Says:

    OK thanks, I will allow more for groceries. I eat very little meat, so that is a big money saver for me. But could double the grocery budget and still come in at a decent number.

    Thanks all for thoughts and prayers...going to mow the lawn and then attempt to drown my liver. I know that is not a good way to handle things....but today that is my answer. Tomorrow I will start again.

  6. SAK Says:

    Bankergurl - first just a big hug. Second - could you afford your current mortgage on your own? If you can - ask the mortgage officer about getting it to your name only. Hang in there and take care of you.

  7. seahorse Says:

    I pay $8.55 a month for Netflix. We have had it for over 4 years and cancelled our cable 4 years ago and we find plenty to watch and don't miss cable.

  8. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:

    I also find crunching numbers to be a soothing activity. Hope you felt a little better after working out a spending plan.

  9. Looking Forward Says:

    I wondered also if you can't keep the current mortgage and take his name off TITLE.. I don't think he gets any say if you keep current mortgage going.. as in I don't THINK he can MAKE you refi to take his name off the loan.. that is a favor you would be doing HIM.. check into it. Smile Even with a new mortgage it looks like things would be very do-able. Smile I would budget $200/mo for food.. you need to be good to yourself there and what you don't use will go to savings. Smile

  10. Bob B. Says:

    Have you consulted an attorney? I don't mean to necessarily file the paperwork, just to learn more about your options.

  11. scfr Says:

    Keep the gym membership as is! If going to the gym is helping you cope, benefiting your physical & emotional health, it is worth every penny. YOU are worth every one of those $25 a month. And I'll chime in with the others who suggest upping the food spending ... replace the beer with some yummy fresh fruit! We nag because we care. Big Grin

  12. Banker Gurl Says:

    I have a very good possibility for a roommate. I told her $550 a month and that would include utilities. She is very interested. Hopefully it pans out, but I won't be banking on it until she actually moves in. I will have to see what options the loan office can give me, but when I buy out DH my loan is going to go up like $60K. Frown So I guess we will have to see what the numbers come out to.

  13. Petunia 100 Says:

    BG, weren't you working part-time at a bingo hall? Are you no longer doing that?

    I think a roommate is a great idea, if you are compatible. Smile

  14. Banker Gurl Says:

    Yes I was doing that at one time, but haven't in about 2 years now. Working OT I make about $27 per/hr. At bingo I was only making about $11 an hr after tips, and frequently I would have to leave OT to get to my bingo shift...which just didn't make sense economically, even if the work was usually super easy and fun. If I do get a 2nd job I may see about working there nights or weekends or I may get a paper route. They are easy and I like getting paid to go for a walk....plus I could always check out the coupons! For now I am going to see what pans out with the roommate situation and then go from there.

  15. SecretarySaving Says:

    You've got enough in your freezer/pantry to last you on food for awhile so I trust your budget is good for you! Why not sale the house, move and start fresh! The house has a lot of memories with him there and it might be making you feel more lonely than if you were to move and redecorate and be closer to work or your mom. Something to think about. I wouldn't want a roommate. I'm too picky and I like my space. Best of luck!

  16. Banker Gurl Says:

    I have thought about selling out the house to him, but honestly it gives me great comfort to have a place that is mine and safe. It is immensely comforting. I am not pumped about the idea of a roommate, but other then the kitchen we wouldn't be sharing any living spaces. They will have their own bedroom, bathroom, and living room. Plus as is I am rarely home. I usually work from 7am - 6pm, then have softball/yard work/working out/going out and then bed time since I work so early. I have had many roommates when I was 18-22 (I lived in a 4 bedroom apartment with anywhere from 4-7 people at a time) so I know roommates can be a PITA, but I also know more of how to handle things now that I am older and have had to deal with different roommate issues. If I absolutely can't stand the roommate situation then I will have to find other options. But I think it will be nice to have someone around sometimes. Right now I am only looking at having a friend move in, not a stranger or anything like that.

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