I have now switched from denial and sadness mode to "let's get this done with NOW" mode. I want to be done. I want the papers signed, I want his stuff out of the house. yesterday was major break down day again. I am SO SICK of it.
I went to the bank yesterday and went over my options for the house. Seems I should be able to afford it even better then I thought so that is good. Again that is without considering my OT pay, roommate, rummage sales etc as extra income.
My credit score was 796. Excellent. 
I am locked in for a 30 year ARM. The first 10 years are locked in at 3.625%. After that 10 years then I can refinance or it can adjust yearly to whatever the current rate is. I would imagine within 10 years I will be in a very different spot in my life and have no idea if I will still be in this house so I am happy with this option and low rate. My previous rate was 2.75%, but this is still good.
My payments will only be $684.08 per month (I pay Escrow on my own and that is about $300 per month). DH is currently paying $700 for a 2 bedroom apt in an extrememly sketchy apt building. Housing here is ridiculous. So for me to be able to stay in a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house, with 2 stall garage, parking pad, fenced back yard with deck, shed, hot tub and pay less then $700 is great. At least I will be building equity while I am living here. Of course the numbers could change some depending on what the house appraises at, but should be close to that. This was estimating its worth at $210K. I think that is close. 2 years ago it appraised at $195K. When we bought in 2007 it appraised at $160K.
It was a rough day knowing that basically my last 7 years of house payments were for nothing and my new loan is essentially the same amount as it was in 2007. 
UGH. But I am glad this is moving now and a step closer to getting out of this stage. I told DH to get papers together so we can finish this mess. He texted me back something about "I will try to do that soon so you can get me out of your life".....UMMMM remember how you are the one leaving??? Ugh, very surprised my phone is in piece today cause oh man did I want to throw it through the wall last night.
Breathe, breathe, breathe..........
Crunching Mortgage Numbers...This is really happening now
June 5th, 2014 at 05:02 pm
June 5th, 2014 at 05:06 pm 1401987985
June 5th, 2014 at 05:07 pm 1401988077
What about all of your savings accounts? What are your plans for them?
June 5th, 2014 at 05:15 pm 1401988513
Petunia - We will be splitting all of the savings accounts 50/50. That will be one of the last things to do once everything is seperated. At least that will be easy. Once I have my "own" savings amounts then I will figure out what my new accounts will be for/labeled as. No idea right now.
June 5th, 2014 at 05:15 pm 1401988517
And, if I assume correctly you will retain 100% ownership of house, therefore equity. Good for you for moving on.
June 5th, 2014 at 05:24 pm 1401989096
June 5th, 2014 at 05:29 pm 1401989384
June 5th, 2014 at 06:05 pm 1401991525
Oh those greedy banks! How do they justify increasing your mortgage rate from 2.75% to 3.65% ? There hasn't been a nearly 1% increase in savings account rates. What do they see as an added risk factor since your 796 hovers near the top of FICO scores. It should mean a lower rate since it's less of a risk and you now have about $ 50,000. equity! Sounds like a bonus for the loan officer doesn't it?
What do other lenders offer?
June 5th, 2014 at 06:31 pm 1401993065
June 5th, 2014 at 07:34 pm 1401996851
June 5th, 2014 at 07:51 pm 1401997918
But to answer what accelerated this. On Saturday I was upset...I texted him "I'm so tired of being stuck loving someone that doesn't love me anymore" his response "I know"
Yup. Tell me you didn't just cringe.
Needless to say that really sealed the deal for me. I am not gonna beat myself up anymore. I gave everything I had and then some. I can't feel bad about my marriage failing anymore. I did everything I could. I can't bail out a boat with a paper cup when someone else is pouring water in with a firehose....it's silly to try...and then when the boat sinks...who has enough strength to swim and who is too tired to make it?
That is where I am at now. I have abandoned ship.
June 5th, 2014 at 08:32 pm 1402000335
June 5th, 2014 at 09:24 pm 1402003495
June 6th, 2014 at 12:43 am 1402015403
June 6th, 2014 at 05:05 am 1402031145
WHOOT!
I'm happy for you!
June 6th, 2014 at 07:06 am 1402038382
June 6th, 2014 at 01:39 pm 1402061982