For those of you that know my back story and drama of my life the last few years.....you know I got divorced due to lots of issues stemming from XH's alcoholism. One of the biggest issues was his infidelity. I don't want to get into the whole big shabang, but basically as we were starting to enter divorce territory, I was informed by several people that XH had made sexual advances at them, and they hadn't told me because they didn't want to "rock the boat" so to speak as from the outside everyone thought we were happily married, and they also thought their encounters with XH were isolated incidences, and they blamed the alcohol. As I was hearing about these more and more, I began to wonder if my MOH (from wedding to XH) from our wedding had ever had anything happen as she was with us ALL the time. Keep in mind this was about 2 years ago now, and I had tried to call her and text her to ask her about it, she wouldn't answer, and when she responded via text she pretty much told me to F off, and told me she didn't want to be involved in our problems. It was totally shocking as I had just asked her if HE had hit on her, I didn't imply in anyway that she had done anything wrong, but her response pretty much shows me that she did...why else would she get so defensive? I had other good friends that he had hit on, and when I asked them about it, or some of them came forward on their own, they apologized for not telling me right away, but I assured them it wasn't their fault that XH put them in an awkward position and as long as they rebuffed his advances I don't feel they did anything wrong as that was a tough spot to be in. Also MOH knew XH was a cheater because she was with on a birthday bus trip I planned for XH when he kissed someone else's girlfriend in front of other party guests! So even if she thought any altercation with him was isolated before, once that trip happened she knew that he was a chronic cheater and could have came forward then IF she wasn't also guilty. And now, 2 years after all of this went on, I now know that XH had inappropriate contact with at LEAST 12 women while we were married, and sent me inappropriate texts while I am now married to someone else and he is having a baby with someone else, and MOH STILL tags him in stuff on FB??? Good friend huh??? So the whole situation is heartbreaking. I am over losing XH, I have someone so much better who appreciates me and chooses me, not alcohol, not other women, not anyone or anything else. But it still hurts a lot to lose MOH, even though, especially typing it out, I can see that she is a terrible person and probably has been to me for a long time without me realizing it. We have been friends for about 15 years, been on lots of trips together, supported each other at family functions, weddings, funerals, baptisms. And I do love her. But I just can't take her awfulness anymore, so yesterday I finally unfriended her on FB. Not sure what the repercussions of that will be yet, as I am good friends with her siblings and parents as well, and we are still on a softball team together. I am guessing she won't even notice as she hasn't "liked" or "commented" on any of my pics or statuses in over 2 years, but constantly "likes" XHs status (which thankfully I don't see anymore since I blocked him) and also tags him in stuff all the time.
I feel she is the last person in my life that I kept even though they were hurting me cause I really wanted her to just one day tell me what happened and say she was sorry, and I would have forgiven her. But I know now that is never going to happen so time to let go and move on to people who care about me and my happiness.
So cheers to mental health and letting go of those that hurt you.
Letting go of people is hard, holding onto them is harder
December 8th, 2015 at 04:06 pm
December 8th, 2015 at 05:25 pm 1449595515
December 8th, 2015 at 06:27 pm 1449599221
The agony of mental divorce is brutal. But sometimes the suffering and rehashing is well worth it. Once the mental chains that bind are cut (at least for me), even the physical presence of the person isn't problematic. Good luck to you as you move forward unencumbered.
December 8th, 2015 at 10:14 pm 1449612846
I think its good you cut her off! She doesn't deserve you.
December 8th, 2015 at 10:33 pm 1449614031
I am still sad about it, but I do feel it is best.
December 9th, 2015 at 02:21 pm 1449670877
It sounds like you and the MOH are going your separate ways now, so maybe it's for the best if she's still in contact with the ex. I would just focus on your present relationship and try to forget it. Not saying it's easy at all; I agree, it IS heartbreaking, but put it behind you. Don't dwell on it. Hugs.
December 9th, 2015 at 02:35 pm 1449671737
December 10th, 2015 at 03:46 am 1449719202
December 10th, 2015 at 03:26 pm 1449761164