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Archive for June, 2014

Update on ME

June 26th, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Continuing to get things done in the process of getting divorced.

-Opened my own checking
-Opened my own savings in town
-Opened my own ING Savings
-Helped DH open his ING Savings
-Closed HSBC Savings into ING Savings
-Opened my own Discover Card
-Potential roommate came and looked at the house and will be getting back to me on if/when she can move in, she needs to talk to her current roommates to figure this out.
-Appraisal came in on house so now just waiting for the closing date for the house to be done

Definitely getting things moving. Things with X have not been going great. I have been seeing a guy friend I knew 10 yrs ago who randomly came back into my life. I wasn't expecting this, but he is a great relief right now to have someone to talk to. He has also been divorced and has been giving me a lot of advice and guidance on dealing with things and also been nice to have someone to make me laugh and smile. X is less then thrilled with this....understandable....but YOU are the one that wanted the divorce so what did you think was going to happen?? Well, anyways I wanted to check in with everyone on how I am doing. Been super busy but doing alright and things are moving in the right direction.

90% Off Nail Polish Bin

June 24th, 2014 at 08:53 pm

Went to CVS today and they had TONS of polishes in the 90% off bin. My Mom was with me so we split it and I still got 27 polishes!

I got $142.02 worth of polish for $9.02!!

Nicole by OPI Modern Family Polish (Bought 2)
Regular Price $7.99
-$7.19 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .69 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 on 7/25/14 on FB
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $6.00

Sally Hansen Insta Dry Polish (Bought 12)
Regular Price $5.49 Each
-$4.94 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .44 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.50 Each on FB on 7/25/14 (4 for $10 deal)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 on FB on 7/25/14
*ETA - Sold 8 for $2.50 each on FB on 7/29/14 (4 for $10 deal)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $31.00

Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear (Bought 11)
Regular Price $3.29 Each
-$2.96 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .22 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 7 for $3.00 each at 9/4/14
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/23/16 rummage sale
3 left to sell

Sally Hansen I Heart Nail Art Striper (Bought 1)
Regular Price $3.99
-$3.59 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .29 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.00

Sally Hansen Salon Gel Polish (Bought 1)
Regular Price $12.99
-$11.69 Clearance Sale Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price $1.19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $6.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $6.00 at 5/5/17 rummage sale
Profit = $4.81

Covergirl Wetslick Lipgloss (Bought 1)
Regular Price $6.99
-$3.50 50% Clearance Price
-$2.00 Mfr Coupon
Final Price $1.49!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping this)

CVS Deals Week of 6/15/14 - Crest Money Maker!

June 20th, 2014 at 09:37 pm

Got a couple more deals this week.

Charmin Basic Huge Roll (Bought 6)
Regular Price $1.57 Each
-$3.00 CVS CMC $3.00 off 2 Charmin (3)
Final Price .07 Each!! Great price on TP!!

Crest 3D White 4oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $4.39
-$1.40 Sale Price Each
-$1.00 off 2 Mfr Coupon
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off 2 Crest
*Received $2.00 EB Each
Final Price = -.51!! Money Maker of .51 on each!!
(Marked $2.50 each for rummage sale)

DenTek On-The-Go Brush+Floss Kit (Bought 1)
Regular Price $1.99
-$1.50 Clearance Price (75% off)
Final Price = .49!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.50 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $1.50

I did the Colgate deal again on another card:

Colgate SpongeBob Squarepants 4.6oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry Toothpaste and Mouthwash (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.99
-$2.55 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

So I got 8 Toothpastes for $1.44 each = $11.52
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off $10.00 Oral Care Purchase
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
Final Price = $1.52 for 8 Toothpastes!! Just .19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)

Colgate SpongeBob (4) (Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $1.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $6.00

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 3 for $2.00 each on FB on 11/2/15
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 on FB on 11/8/15
Profit = $6.00

To Do Week of 6/21/14

June 19th, 2014 at 02:58 pm

I have all of next week off of work (I always take the whole week of my birthday off Smile ).
So time to get some junk done again! I have a lot of things left to do from my last list, but it just seems to NEVER end right now! So here is what I have so far....

( )Laundry
( )Clean out/vacuum XH closet
( )Move summer clothes into MY 2nd closet
( )Reorganize my fall/winter clothes closet
( )Take out garbage
( )Take out items for XH to take from medicine cabinet
( )Re-oragnize MY extra cabinets
( )File
( )Move 2013 files to permanent file
( )Finish cleaning toys
( )Finish marking toys
( )Enter Coke Points
( )Enter Special K Points
( )Vacuum
( )Wash Dishes
( )Clean off counters
( )Clean off table
( )Clean out fridge (I just did this, but just reorganize and keep clean)
( )Clean off top of fridge
( )Sweep Floor
( )Mop Floor
( )Organize recycling bins
( )Wash new dishes
( )Pack up old dishes for XH
( )Go through/separate small kitchen appliances
( )Make Calendar for July
( )Put away shoes
( )Sweep
( )Mop
( )Clean out
( )Sweep
( )Spray out garage
( )Mow Lawn
( )Mow Lawn Again
( )Clean Hot Tub (I have to do this again because XH ordered the wrong cover, which is too small, so now dirt already blew in there, but now I have a tarp to put under the cover so it won't get dirty fast again)
( )Clean out rock bed and lay plastic
( )Take garbage and recycling to curb
( )Trim bushes in front yard
( )Trim tree in backyard
( )Al-Anon Meeting
( )Wax Eyebrows
( )Paint toe nails
( )$50K - $100K Updates for WIR
( )$100K Updates for WIR
( )Get bike in working order
( )Pick out new glasses
( )Dental apt - Monday
( )Take back library books and get new ones
( )Blog CVS Deals
( )Blog FB Sales
Extra Bedroom #1
( )Pick up room
( )Throw out broken dresser
( )Dust
( )Vacuum
Extra Bedroom #2
( )Pick up extra bedroom
( )Organize closet in extra bedroom
( )Vacuum extra bedroom
Workout Everyday
( )Saturday -
( )Sunday -
( )Monday -
( )Tuesday - Softball
( )Wednesday -
( )Thursday - Softball
( )Friday
( )Saturday - Softball
( )Sunday
( )Go play Bingo
( )Go to some rummage sales
( )Go to a movie
( )Eat Ice Cream!

Banker Gurl - Softball Studmuffin!

June 18th, 2014 at 03:01 pm

Obviously with everything being such a mess in my life right now my head has been scrambled. It's been effecting everything (forgot to pay some bills, tried to take the TV remote outside with me to mow the lawn, start driving to one place and end up somewhere else). It's also been effecting my softball a lot. I've been doing good with my defense, but have been a headcase with batting...I get on base, but not even close to my normal batting and haven't felt comfortable with my swinging.

Last night one of the girls on my team (who I told last week I am getting divorced) was telling me I am just thinking about it (batting) too much. I said My mind is such a mess, I can't do anything right now. She said just go up there and think "F it". About all of it...just think "F it" and I did!

First game I was 3-4, one hit away from hitting for the cycle (I missed the double). Second game 4-4. I hit 2 HRs in one night! I usually only hit 3-5 a season! So EXCITED! Again my HRs are not over the fence...I'm not very big, but I can hit it far enough over their heads and run fast enough that I can get all the way home. In the park or not I will take em! YEAH!

I opened MY new checking account

June 16th, 2014 at 05:28 pm

I went to the bank and opened my new checking account today. Also closed the mortgage checking account. I put in $100 from our joint checking (and gave DH a $100 to open his new checking). I also had $600 from a bonus I got and DH said I could take that money for myself, so now I have $700 in there.

Had an AWFUL day with DH. I am just so full of anger right now. He is still not owning up to friends and family about his actions....but throws me under the bus every chance he gets. I talked to his BF today who he supposedly "told everything to" and he didn't know the half of it.....as an example...DH likes to say "I texted inappropriately" Ummmm....NO! You texted MY COUSIN/BF what you wanted to do to her, and when she said "No...Banker Gurl is gonna kill you"....you said "Banker Gurl doesn't have to know". Just own up to what you did and stop acting like you just did tiny little things! (This is just an example...there are lots more and lots worse).

We have been dealing with this for 7 months and he has still not told either of his parents ANYTHING! They have no idea there are any problems and DH is just gonna drop on them that he is divorced.....wow, they are really gonna love that. They live 8 hrs away and are both alcoholics and I have thought about trying to call them, but who knows when they are coherent enough to comprehend, and he is their baby boy after all so I don't think anything good would come of it. I am sure they will blame it all on me....his mother has never cared for me (she showed up to our wedding wasted and yelled at me about the place cards until I cried....YES that happened!), his Dad loves me but I am not his child.

I called his sister a few weeks ago and she wouldn't talk to me.....of course DH told her my mistakes but neglected to mention any of his numerous problems, lies, cheating etc. Makes me SO, SO, SO mad. I know DH will tell only what makes him look like the less evil and sugarcoat all his wrong doings.

I told him this today when he was getting some more of his stuff. Got in huge fight and ended with him "Lets not talk anymore" Me "Finally we agree on something, have a nice life".

UGH. Whatever. Guess I know the truth and that is all I can deal with. Can't worry about all his friends and family that he lies to, most know the truth anyways since DH has cheated in front of lots of them in someway/shape/form.

But anyways glad to have one more thing done on the financial list. Checks are ordered (free from bank) and now my account is all set to go when I am ready for it.

$20K Update

June 16th, 2014 at 06:46 am

Apparently I never stopped the auto-deposit to the Anniversary Cruise Fund. Frown Guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore at another thing I forgot to do....so anyways here is a deposit for that. I plan on closing that account as soon as that deposit clears.
I also moved the $440 I had in at home savings to ING. I want to get everything into ING for now for ease when seperating.

Current Balance $32,245.00
+$100.00 to HSBC Anniversary Cruise
-$440.00 from Home Improvements (Cash)
+$440.00 to ING
+$15.00 Even Out Amount
Balance $32,360.00

ING $28,760.00
HSBC $3600.00
Total = $32,360.00

Trying to get back into FB Sales

June 15th, 2014 at 07:32 pm

I am trying to get back into selling items on FB. I am keeping this money for myself as this is something I am doing on my own and separate from my normal paychecks and DH. I will keep it to the side for now and once everything is done then I will put it towards the house. So far I have $31.50. I have a buyer for a bunch of make-up on Tuesday, if she buys everything she has said she wants it will be $35! So we will see!

Sale #16 (PRM) - $20.00

Discounted items from CVS
Dove Bodywash - I paid $3.00(Free on CVS GC)
Sold for $5.00 = $5.00 Profit

Right Guard Bodywash (2) - I paid $2.00 each (Free on CVS GC)
Sold for $2.50 each = $5.00 Profit

Dial Bodywash (4) - I paid $1.50 each for 2 (Free on CVS GC) and .49 OOP for one, one was my Moms.
Sold in a 4 for $10 deal = $7.01 Profit! ($2.50 for Mom)

Total Profit on this sale for me was $17.01!

Sale #17 (RB) - $10.00

Free Curbside Items
Blue Playskool Rider $10.00 = $10.00 Profit

Sale #18 (MJ) - $1.50

Free Curbside Items
Elmo Socks $1.50 = $1.50 Profit

So far I have made $21.50 off the "garbage" my neighbors threw away!

CVS Deals Week of 6/15/14

June 15th, 2014 at 04:08 pm

Found some really good deals on Colgate this week!

Colgate Baking Soda and Peroxide Whitening 6.4oz (2)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate SpongeBob Squarepants 4.6oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry Toothpaste and Mouthwash (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.99
-$2.55 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

So I got 8 Toothpastes for $1.44 each = $11.52
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off $10.00 Oral Care Purchase
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
Final Price = $1.52 for 8 Toothpastes!! Just .19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)

Colgate Baking Soda and Peroxide (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $4.00

Colgate SpongeBob (2) (Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 on 6/27/14 on FB (I was selling for $1.50, but when she picked it up she gave me $2.00 and didn't want her change??)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.50

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry (4) (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
3 left to sell

Sally Hansen Extreme Wear (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.29 Each
-$1.65 off 2 for BOGO 50% off sale
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off Sally Hansen Polish
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off Sally Hansen Polish
Final Price = $1.46 each (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $3.00 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $12.00

Softsoap Bodywash (Bought 2)
Regular Price $4.49 Each
-.49 Sale Price
-$3.00 CMC $3.00 off 2 Softsoap
*Received $2.00 EB
Final Price = $3.00 for 2, $1.50 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $2.50 Each on FB on 7/2/14 (6 for $15 deal)
Profit = $5.00

Couple lil grabs at CVS

June 14th, 2014 at 08:12 pm

Picked up a few more dealies at CVS this week.

I mentioned earlier that I have seen a lot of items in the trial size area that are on clearance. I got some good deals on those today.

Speed Stick Deodorant 1.8oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $2.99 Each
-$2.25 (75% off Clearance Each)
-$1.00 CVS CMC $1.00 off $4.00 Deodorant Purchase
Final Price .49 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $1.00 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $4.00

Lady Speed Stick .5oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $1.27
-.32 (25% Clearance Price Each)
Final Price .95 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping these)

Normally I wouldn't buy these unless I get them for free, but I needed more deodorant to have enough to use the $1.00 off $4.00 deodorant purchase and they didn't have anymore regular Speed Stick in the clearance bin. Still a decent price as I use these a lot for my gym bag, softball bag, at my desk at work etc. The profit I will make on the Men's deodorants will essentially make the ones I am keeping for myself FREE!

Lubriderm 1oz Lotions (Bought 4)
Regular Price $1.19
-.60 Each (50% Clearance Price Each)
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off 2 Body Lotions
Final Price - .09 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked .50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for .50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $2.36

Almay Shadow Softies Eyeshadow (Bought 4)
Regular Price $4.99 Each
BOGO 50% off sale
=$3.74 Each
-$4.00 Mfr Coupon (2)
-$3.00 CVS CMC $3.00 Almay Purchase
Final Price = .25 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $2.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.50 on FB on 9/27/14

Covergirl Outlast Nail Polish (Bought 1)
Regular Price $5.99
-$3.00 Clearance Price (50% off)
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off $10 Makeup Purchase
Final Price = FREE!
(Marked $3.00 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $2.50 (4 for $10 deal) to BF coworkers on 7/28/14
Profit = $2.50

Bengay Pain Relieving Cream 2oz
Regular Price $6.49
-$1.00 Sale Price
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon
*Received $3.00 EB
Final Price $1.49! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.50 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $3.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.50

Depressing Days and Scatterbrainedness

June 14th, 2014 at 05:01 pm

So I recently found out that I didn't pay my Discover bill last month....or my water bill. HUH?!

Not like me AT ALL. Guess with all the stress I am losing my marbles. I got a late fee from Discover but when I called them they took the fee off right away since I have an excellent payment history. I know they have automatic payment options on their website so I guess maybe it is time I signed up for that.

No late fee on the water bill, I made sure I paid it right away so last month and this month are paid.

Now that I have accepted that there is no chance of reconciliation things have been going better with DH. I don't have to feel in limbo anymore or wonder what is going to happen. We have been doing ok at taking baby steps into the friend zone.

Then last night he showed up at 12:30am, obviously been drinking. Wants to "cuddle". Guess what? I want to cuddle too...I'm lonely and sad and depressed. Turns out we have very different definitions of cuddling. DH did not get his kind of cuddling. So anyways, now today I feel like I took a huge leap backwards in getting my head on straight. I shouldn't have let him stay. Should have told him to leave. Should have yelled at him. SIGH.

He texted numerous times today that he is sorry and shouldn't have done that and that he won't do it again, he knows it was wrong to come over...blah, blah, blah. I have had a sore throat for a few days and so he brought me ice cream today too.

As much as I don't want to make space between us...he knows I am getting lots of attention from other men now (99.9% unwanted attention) that they know I am single and I think that may have been a large factor in his actions yesterday. I am going to just have to be an ass and make my own rules and follow them. No more coming over when you want, even if it is to pack or do laundry or fix something for me or whatever. No more house key. No more garage door opener. And no more calling and texting all the time. Frown

Tomorrow is my 7 year wedding anniversary. Heartdaggers.

$20K Update

June 10th, 2014 at 06:49 am

I am starting to slowly get funds moved around to get ready for them to be separated. I had $95 in the Mortgage Checking Account, so I moved $90 of that to ING Savings. I also have the cash savings at home that I need to put in there, and I will be closing the HSBC savings into ING as well. Hoping to get all of those done this week. Then all of the savings is with ING and will be easily split.

Current Balance $32,345.00
+$90.00 From Mortgage Checking
+$8.00 Even Out Amount
+$2.00 Even Out Amount
-$200.00 to Roth IRA
Balance $32,245.00

ING $28,305.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,245.00

My first week EVER without cable

June 8th, 2014 at 04:10 pm

Today is one week without cable, and it went great!

I am not home too much between work, OT and softball. When I am home I have lots of cleaning, reorganizing and yard work to do, and I prefer to listen to music rather then watch TV. I did watch 4 movies this week, and season 1 of The Office(I have all of The Office, Friends and Sex and the City on DVD, so just those would keep me occupied). I have Netflix still but didn't watch it much other then a few episodes of Frasier before bed. But that will for sure keep me busy when I do feel like watching TV shows.

I also have finally been getting to read more which is nice too. Smile

I am super happy I decided to cancel it, this will save me $50 a month!

CVS Deals Week of 6/8/14

June 8th, 2014 at 12:24 pm

Xtra Laundry Detergent 45oz (Bought 21)
Regular Price $2.99 Each
-$1.50 Sale Price Each
*Received $10 Giftcard for spending $30 on select products
Final Price $1.01 each for 21 bottles!!
That comes out to .03 per load!!

This is enough laundry detergent to last me about 4-5 years....I only have to do about 2 loads per week. One for my normal clothes and 1 for my softball/workout clothes, then a load of towels/washcloths every 2 weeks or so.

Speed Stick Gear Deodorant 3oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $5.49 Each
-$1.49 Sale Price Each
-$4.00 CVS Coupon Machine Coupon off Gear Deodorant (Had 2 of these coupons...wish I had more!)
*Received $2.00 EB for every 2 I bought (2)
Final Price $1.00 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $2.50 Each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.50 on 9/27/14 on FB
1 left to sell

June Test Budget Month - One Week Check In

June 8th, 2014 at 11:59 am

Test Budget:
Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $100
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1700

Actual so far
Mortgage $1005 (Estimated for after refi)
Heat/Air/Electric ?
Water ?
Cellphone ?
Gym ?
Internet ?
Car Insurance $50 (Estimate as I don't know how this will change yet)
Fuel $42.06
Groceries $0 so far
Netflix ?
Going out/beer $57.67 (Wendys $3.62, Paradiso $18.46, Taco Johns $7.05, Captain Freddies $28.54)
Unaccounted Expenses $150.29 (Lawn Mower Battery $150.29)
CVS $24.90 ($24.90 Laundry Detergent)

So far I am almost at my max for eating out (and it's only the 8th!), way over on the Unaccounted for expenses (and I know there will be more). Other categories are good so far. Will definitely need to make adjustments. Doing my best to have no spend days.

Response to yesterdays post and finding tiny bits of clarity each day

June 7th, 2014 at 12:58 pm

Thanks Another Reader, Petunia and everyone else that responded on my last post. I know it is hard to access my situation as only knowing what you read. And I know everyone is trying to give me helpful advice.

I went to lunch with DH today to talk about things more to keep them moving. He took another car load of his stuff. He is not and will not be spending/taking money he shouldn't be. He still texts me and asks if he can take $20 out of the ATM. It will absolutely not be a problem. He felt bad that he went and bought a $40 pot/pan set from Wal-Mart without telling me right away.

I feel sad and lonely today. But better. Cause I am finally starting to see that there is something better for me in my future. I have been feeling lonely and alone for a few years now. But I wanted my marriage to work so I just kept trying and thought cause we loved each other things would get better. But between the strain of the drinking and his infertility and now learning about all of his indiscretions....it was just too much and now here we are. If he didn't leave, we would stay married...and I would stay lonely. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life...so I keep reminding myself of that. Do you want to be lonely the rest of your life? No. Well then this is what you have to go through now so that it doesn't happen.

I went to Al-Anon again this morning and one of the other member's said something really powerful to me about leaving the past in the past. I need to try to remember that.

I also explained to DH that his actions are that of an a-hole....I told him to take a step back, think of only his actions, and not the person doing them. He agreed that if someone told him how he left the divorce papers, how he texts me nice things, but then does something like that is a total jerk thing to do. He also said he has been seeing a counselor and they told him that he was doing things he shouldn't be doing (asking me to go grocery shopping before he told me he wasn't coming back, which made me think that was a good thing) and that his actions directly effected mine...and that his drinking had changed him and thus changed our relationship. It was good to hear that someone else was telling him these things.

Now I will need to decide if I want to be friends with DH when this is all over. Or if I want him out of my life forever. Ideally I would like to stay friends and say hey do you want to go to lunch or a movie or whatever (not NOW but sometime down the road). But IDK if I can do that or not. I told him that...He has been very clear that he wants to still be friends, but he said he understands if I can't handle that. I said I would like to stay friends but IDK if I can cause I am so mad at you about everything and that you want to be my friends, but you don't want ALL of me...and then he said "Oh believe me I want ALL of you (hint hint)...which irritated me a lot. Don't talk to me like that anymore..ugh. Well not trying to go on another vent, but I am starting to wrap my head around things more everyday and soon everything will be out of the house that is his and I know that will help a lot.

Already mowed the lawn, started laundry, went to Al-Anon and did an Ab workout. IT WILL be a good day!

Just a vent on sadness

June 6th, 2014 at 06:48 am

Yesterday I wanted to be a good day after Wed was terrible.

I worked, then worked 2 hrs of OT, then went and played softball in the rain. Was supposed to have a pool party after that with my softball team, but due to the unexpected rain that didn't happen.

I was happy to go home early though...I have not been getting much sleep, I plan on going to bed early, but instead always stay up WAY to late and then I wake up at 4am (I don't need to get up till about 6:30) and lay there. So again I thought I will go home, shower, get to bed early with my book. Awwwwww....


Got home and I had completely forgotten my Mom was coming by today to take all the pictures down. Frown UGH. That SUCKED! I asked her to do that, but I had spaced it out while at softball and initially I though DH had come and done it! Then I remembered I told her to do that and I totally broke down....while I am stumbling through my house crying like a maniac as I look at all the spots that used to have wedding pics, honeymoon photos and everything else that was my life....I see papers laying on the chair that I didn't put there.

Divorce papers.


He texted me all day yesterday "How are you" "Hang in there" "Have a good day" "Kick some butt at softball" blah blah blah

Did any of those texts say "Just so you know and aren't kicked in the face, when you get home, I took some papers there for you to look at". Was that so hard....to give me a LITTLE heads up!?

Yeah so anyways I was a damn mess. My neighbors probably think there is a dying animal somewhere cause that is what it sounds like...just terrible wailing. I hate it so much....but it just takes me over and I can't stop.

Needless to say the going to bed early did not happen.

So that is my sadness vent for the day.

Now this morning he texted me right away in the morning "How was softball" "Do you want to go play Bingo after work?"


Crunching Mortgage Numbers...This is really happening now

June 5th, 2014 at 10:02 am

I have now switched from denial and sadness mode to "let's get this done with NOW" mode. I want to be done. I want the papers signed, I want his stuff out of the house. yesterday was major break down day again. I am SO SICK of it.

I went to the bank yesterday and went over my options for the house. Seems I should be able to afford it even better then I thought so that is good. Again that is without considering my OT pay, roommate, rummage sales etc as extra income.

My credit score was 796. Excellent. Smile

I am locked in for a 30 year ARM. The first 10 years are locked in at 3.625%. After that 10 years then I can refinance or it can adjust yearly to whatever the current rate is. I would imagine within 10 years I will be in a very different spot in my life and have no idea if I will still be in this house so I am happy with this option and low rate. My previous rate was 2.75%, but this is still good.

My payments will only be $684.08 per month (I pay Escrow on my own and that is about $300 per month). DH is currently paying $700 for a 2 bedroom apt in an extrememly sketchy apt building. Housing here is ridiculous. So for me to be able to stay in a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house, with 2 stall garage, parking pad, fenced back yard with deck, shed, hot tub and pay less then $700 is great. At least I will be building equity while I am living here. Of course the numbers could change some depending on what the house appraises at, but should be close to that. This was estimating its worth at $210K. I think that is close. 2 years ago it appraised at $195K. When we bought in 2007 it appraised at $160K.

It was a rough day knowing that basically my last 7 years of house payments were for nothing and my new loan is essentially the same amount as it was in 2007. Frown UGH. But I am glad this is moving now and a step closer to getting out of this stage. I told DH to get papers together so we can finish this mess. He texted me back something about "I will try to do that soon so you can get me out of your life".....UMMMM remember how you are the one leaving??? Ugh, very surprised my phone is in piece today cause oh man did I want to throw it through the wall last night.

Breathe, breathe, breathe..........

I won the Biggest Loser!

June 3rd, 2014 at 03:34 pm

I won the Biggest Loser at work!

I lost 4.19% in 2 months. Won $70!

Normally I would put that in savings or on the house but for now I will just hang on to it.

I was hoping to lose more, but I do feel like I look different and toned up a lot more then anything so I am happy with that. Smile

June - Budget Testing Month

June 1st, 2014 at 05:36 pm

Here is my test budget to use for June. Today is June 1st and I already lost...lol. I had to buy a new battery for the lawn mower..$150. This would fall into the unaccounted expenses category. Of course I have savings to cover things like this, but as the goal is to stay in budget that is unfortunate to have that expense on the first of the month.

Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $100
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1700

On a personal note from last night....I went out with several friends, mainly a couple that have been dating for a lil over a year I believe... He has been my and DHs friend for about 4 years and have seen him with a few gfs. I really like this one, she is fun and bold and they seem great together. She is divorced and I was glad to be out with someone that has been through this. I'm not gonna lie...I got HAMMERED...and I didn't care. And I told them that me and DH are getting divorced. They were already aware of some of the issues from gossip/rumors about DHs mistakes....and they have seen some of his drunk mess-ups first hand. They took me home to stay with them since we were in the town over from mine (where they live) and obviously I was in no shape to drive. Put me to bed on the couch and they went upstairs to bed. Then the BF comes back down sits on the couch next to me and slides his hand up my shorts...WTF??? Is everyone a cheater??? Starting to think I need a separate blog just for all the damn drama. So that was a crappy end to my night...especially when he knew I was so bombed and that my mind is so scrambled and vulnerable right now. Told him to go to bed, he said he would rather stay and play with me. UGH. He did go to bed but WTF. Seriously can't trust anyone.

June 2014 Savings Update

June 1st, 2014 at 05:06 pm

June 2014 Savings Update

Regular Savings:
Home Maintenance ING $6115
Cushion $3350
HSA $10,800
New Patio Door (cash) $440
Escrow $2160
September 2014 $1825
Short Term Emergency Fund $1025 - Complete
Long Term Emergency Fund $2025 - Complete
New Car $10,310 - Complete
Vacation $3155 - Complete
Anniversary Cruise $3500
Total Regular Savings = $44,700.00

Retirement Savings:
Retirement Hold Account $1775
Roth IRA $9220
Rollover IRA $815
401K $35,000
403B $24,700 (est)
Total Retirement Savings = $71,510.00

Total Savings $116,210

$20K Update - ING Interest

June 1st, 2014 at 05:00 pm

Current Balance $32,300.00
+$22.44 ING Interest
+$22.56 Even Out Amount
Balance $32,345.00

ING $28,405.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,345.00