Last night DH asked me to come over. But he didn't ask till late I was in bed and tired. And I don't want to be chasing him around like that. If he wants to see me he should ask to come over and see me. Or invite me to dinner not text me to come over at 10:30 at night. 
So I slept crapping. Couldn't fall asleep forever, woke up at 2am, woke up at 4am, woke up at 6am.
Well today bites.
Woke up feeling like it could be good. Silly me.
I mowed the back yard, good. Productive.
It's my Mom's BD, so went to eat with my family. Invited DH, but he was busy (he had a graduation party for one of his athletes, so he did have a legitimate excuse, but since I haven't seen him in a week it still sucked). Lunch was good. Afterwards we went to one of my bro's house and played a pool tournament. We drew names to see who would play who..I got my Dad for the first round (which is who I would be most worried about), he got ahead of me right away, but I came back and won, then beat older bro in semi finals and my step-mom in the finals (she shouldn't have been in the finals, but younger bro accidentally hit in the 8 ball early in their game). So that was fun to be the champ! But my mind felt pre-occupied the whole time. My older bro has 2 kids, a 4 year old and a 6 month old. I love my niece and nephew. But when you want kids, and you don't have them, and you don't know if you ever will....it's just so hard to be around them. If you don't have kids YET and you know someday you will, then it's great and you can play and enjoy them and know you get the fun without the responsibilities. But not knowing if that will ever happen just eats me up, and everytime I smooch on my baby niece I feel like my Mom and Dad and brothers are looking at me with sad eyes and it kills me.
Got home feeling terribly depressed. Feeling sad about babies....and then so hard to come home knowing the person that is supposed to be there waiting for you isn't there. Figured the run worked alright yesterday. Try it again. Decided to ride bike instead cause I had a coupon for a free bag of chocolate chips, so I was going to ride my bike to the grocery store. Haven't taken my bike out yet this year. Went to the shed to get it out and a MOUSE scared the bejesus out of me! Pretty sure I probably scared the neighbors with my girly screams. Spiders - fine. Snakes - no problem. Mice - Absolutely not! UGHHHHH GROSS!!!
Cleaned by bike up, packed a bag with my keys, phone and coupon. Locked up the house. Got on my bike....tires that appeared ok when I pushed on them sank to the ground as soon as I climbed on. SIGH. OK so NOT going to ride my bike then. I already have workout clothes on, might as well run then. Unlocked the house, put my bike in the garage. Set my bag with my keys, phone and coupon on the counter by the door, set my watch, walked out and locked the door.
YUP. LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE....AND NO PHONE. AWESOME. So I walked across the street to the neighbors and called DH to come unlock the door.
As I said I haven't seen him in a week. He came over right away and let me in. Was nice and gave me a hug but it just made me feel worse cause now I am at the point where I don't know if I want him to come back or not. I really don't know anymore. If he made the changes he needed to make...and came back...would I really be happy? I don't know. And that is the worst feeling.
My life would make a great sitcom..wish someone else could be the star...
May 19th, 2014 at 12:11 am
May 19th, 2014 at 02:21 am 1400466064
May 19th, 2014 at 03:06 am 1400468819
May 19th, 2014 at 06:59 am 1400482772
I already knew that, but I wasn't initially planning to press charges. However, her solution to finding out about this was to have a "surprise talk" with me to get me to somehow back down from pressing any charges. And I just looked at her with a straight face and said, "Why would I do that?" as in honor her request not to press charges.
That and several other incidents finally convinced me that, yeah, I really need to press charges. Finally, I stopped at the final hour when her lawyer bailed on her, and her new lawyer decided to do everything possible to work it out through mediation. That's what I had wanted all along. Just work things out fairly and amicably. I don't see why that has to be so difficult.
Anyways, just ranting. Hopefully your hubby isn't like that though... but I say always be careful anyways if they want to have any surprise talks without telling you why.
May 19th, 2014 at 07:13 am 1400483587
So yeah, in any case, I think you did the right thing here. Communication needs to be accommodating to the best of two people's ability. One can't just have the other on a whim whenever they feel like it. Plus, if your hubby is like my ex, then he might also be trying something sinister. Who knows. Anyways, take care and be careful.
May 19th, 2014 at 01:48 pm 1400507309
May 19th, 2014 at 06:11 pm 1400523080
May 22nd, 2014 at 04:28 am 1400732896
Make some extra keys so you won't have to rely on him like that.
May 22nd, 2014 at 08:54 am 1400748847
Have you had a chance to look into Al-Anon yet? The group has the potential of being extremely helpful to you.
I hate mice too, and would have been shrieking also. I actually shrieked and jumped on a chair once when I saw a mouse. I thought that only happened in cartoons. . . must be a reflex reaction.