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Depressing Days and Scatterbrainedness

June 15th, 2014 at 12:01 am

So I recently found out that I didn't pay my Discover bill last month....or my water bill. HUH?!

Not like me AT ALL. Guess with all the stress I am losing my marbles. I got a late fee from Discover but when I called them they took the fee off right away since I have an excellent payment history. I know they have automatic payment options on their website so I guess maybe it is time I signed up for that.

No late fee on the water bill, I made sure I paid it right away so last month and this month are paid.

Now that I have accepted that there is no chance of reconciliation things have been going better with DH. I don't have to feel in limbo anymore or wonder what is going to happen. We have been doing ok at taking baby steps into the friend zone.

Then last night he showed up at 12:30am, obviously been drinking. Wants to "cuddle". Guess what? I want to cuddle too...I'm lonely and sad and depressed. Turns out we have very different definitions of cuddling. DH did not get his kind of cuddling. So anyways, now today I feel like I took a huge leap backwards in getting my head on straight. I shouldn't have let him stay. Should have told him to leave. Should have yelled at him. SIGH.

He texted numerous times today that he is sorry and shouldn't have done that and that he won't do it again, he knows it was wrong to come over...blah, blah, blah. I have had a sore throat for a few days and so he brought me ice cream today too.

As much as I don't want to make space between us...he knows I am getting lots of attention from other men now (99.9% unwanted attention) that they know I am single and I think that may have been a large factor in his actions yesterday. I am going to just have to be an ass and make my own rules and follow them. No more coming over when you want, even if it is to pack or do laundry or fix something for me or whatever. No more house key. No more garage door opener. And no more calling and texting all the time. Frown

Tomorrow is my 7 year wedding anniversary. Heartdaggers.

6 Responses to “Depressing Days and Scatterbrainedness”

  1. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:

    It's not being an ass.

    It's setting boundaries, good boundaries, healthy boundaries, for both of you. Please tell yourself that. He doesn't want to be married anymore? Then he can't have the benefits of marriage with you. Simple as that.

  2. Another Reader Says:

    Get the keys and the garage door opener. He no longer has the right to enter YOUR house without your permission. He can make an appointment to move his stuff. He's drunk and knocking at the door? Don't answer. Yes, it's hard, but it's his problem. It's no longer your problem.

    Look at the anniversary this way. For seven years you worked your tail off to get him to change and to make the relationship work. You gave him every chance to make better choices. He failed to do that. You did the loving, honorable thing. He chose to do otherwise.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    Be STRONG!! You need to set the boundaries...like you said no keys, garage door opener. He needs to pack in one day and be out.

  4. wisewoman Says:

    You can't move forward if you keep going back. Stay strong and move on with your life. I understand what you are going through being there myself. Hindsight being 20/20. I should have kicked him to the curb years ago instead of allowing emotional manipulation take advantage of my kind hearted nature.

    The sooner you move on the happier you will be in the long run...

    God bless

  5. Looking Forward Says:

    Yup.. what everyone else has said. . Stay strong and set clear boundaries. It'll get better.

  6. CB in the City Says:

    Please don't think you are being an ass. It is so obvious that he is filling that role!

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