May 2014 Savings Update

Regular Savings:
Home Maintenance ING $6110
Cushion $3350
HSA $10,800
New Patio Door (cash) $440
Escrow $2155
September 2014 $1820
Short Term Emergency Fund $1020 - Complete
Long Term Emergency Fund $2020 - Complete
New Car $10,300 - Complete
Vacation $3150 - Complete
Anniversary Cruise $3400
Total Regular Savings = $44,565.00

Retirement Savings:
Retirement Hold Account $1700
Roth IRA $9100
Rollover IRA $815
401K $33,500
403B $24,700 (est)
Total Retirement Savings = $69,815.00

Total Savings $114,380

Up $2305 from last month!

Confused on how savings is up this last month...but I'm not gonna argue!

Way behind....here is the ING interest and even out amounts for May.

New Focus = Home Maintenance $6105/$7000

Current Balance $32,345.00
+$19.44 ING Monthly Interest
+$67.56 Even Out Amount
-$112.00 to ROTH IRA
Balance $32,320.00

ING $28,380.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,320.00

I have bi-weekly deposits of $100 to an ING savings account that is a holding account for retirement savings. Then I have auto-deposits from that account to my ROTH IRA during the month. More goes into the account then goes out each month, so it now has about $1800 in it.

I decided to stop the $100 bi-weekly deposits to the retirement hold account for at least the summer. Just can't afford it right now. I would just have to take from one savings account to deposit into another. I stopped the auto-deposit today. Hopefully won't have to leave it off for too long.

Funds will still continue to be transferred to the ROTH from the hold account, since I have $1800 in there, that will be fine for about a year, and hopefully long before then I can start putting funds in there again.

I did go in and invested about $2000 more from the cash account in my ROTH to some stocks that have been doing well for me. Been too long since I reviewed my investment accounts. Need to make sure I am being more on top of that. My personal (not including DHs) total retirement is almost $45K. I think I am doing pretty well for 29 y/o.

I am still contributing 6% to my 401K at work, and get a 3% match on that from my employer. No plans to stop that.

Yup. I said it. I hate Saturday. I knew today would suck cause it's the first WHOLE day alone. But I thought I could focus, get stuff done. Rock out to Pandora. Easier said then done.

At least during the week I have work and softball to keep me busy. I previous enjoyed doing nothing on the weekends. House work, yard work, trip to the casino...nap on the couch...etc. But now it's just brutal. I slept for 12 (YES 12) hours. Still didn't want to get out of bed...cause what's the point?

Finally got up and tried to get a better attitude. Picked up and vacuumed my bedroom, put in a load of laundry. Balanced the checkbook. There is tons more I could be doing. But I don't want to. Ambition level is 0. Just been sitting on my bed for the last hour doing nothing. Listening to Phil Collins Greatest Hits CD on repeat. One of my fav love songs is on there (Groovy kind of love) and one of my saddest ever (One more night). UGH.

If anyone finds my brain or my heart laying around. Please return asap.

Sincerely, Falling apart at the seems

WOW! That is a lot of hits! Thanks everyone for reading and commenting! Wether it's about paying off the house, CVS shopping or tough times in life, everyone here is always SO SUPPORTIVE! I know I say thanks a lot but I wish I could say more to let you know I appreciate the comments, advice and HUGS!


I am behind right now since I have been busy with OT, softball and keeping myself together, but hopefully can catch up on here (and my house/yard work!) this weekend!

TGIF everyone!

I get to use all the hot water in the shower.

I get to listen to MY music (all 80's, all the time!) as loud as I want, ALLLL DAY.

Today was not good. Hadn't talked to DH since 11am yesterday. I made it through yesterday ok (although I didn't leave the house and barely left the bed)...however I didn't feel absolutely terrible.

Thought he would call or text....nothing (I did not call or text either). Then after lunch finally got a text....cause he was having trouble getting his electric bill set up....UGH. When my phone buzzed and I saw his name I was SO EXITED. Thought it would say I love you or I miss you...not can't get the electric set up. Grrrr. I had been doing ok till then cause we weren't planning on talking for the first few days to get everything settled...but the excitement and then letdown of the text kinda crushed me. Then I was angry and sad and ugh. Talked to him tonight and it SUCKED. I was excited to talk to him and he seemed ticked at everything I said and it was just a terrible conversation ending with me crying till I couldn't breathe. Been a few hrs and I texted him sweet things and goodnight and he didn't respond at all. FML.

Also I went out to the bar this weekend and met a psycho (SERIOUSLY)...he seemed harmless enough (if not extremely forward) at the bar...until I found out he took my phone number from my phone (I was in the bathroom, phone was with my friend who was talking to him and apparently my friend (boy who obviously was not being observant) didn't notice him calling himself from MY phone so that he would have my number). So got barrage of phone calls and texts ranging from "You're so beautiful" to "I want to marry you" to "so illicit I can't type it on the internet" Yikes. And most of those were the next day...when he was not drinking. And I had my wedding ring on at the bar and he knew I was married. WTH. Thought he would get the hint when my only reply was "No I'm married" But after the 15th "Please can I come see you" I blocked his number. No worries friends, he doesn't know my last name, where I live, where I work, etc. But that was just some unneeded stress..I just wanted to go out and have a drink with a friend with no junk from my life and instead get that..Ooofta.

Let the savings bleed begin. I am hoping between OT, less eating out and just less spending in general that we can keep the withdrawls to a minimum. Hoping to stay above $30K, but we shall see.

I kept myself busy today with Pandora and Netflix. Did some cleaning and setting up of my new laptop. Feel bad, but doing better then I expected. Will be getting some library books this week, have 2 nights of softball and will be trying to get some cleaning and lawn work done. Holding up ok for now.


New Focus = Home Maintenance $6105/$7000

Current Balance $32,545.00
-$400.00 to Checking to cover DHs Apt Rent/Deposit
+$100.00 to Retirement Hold Account
+$100.00 to Anniversary Cruise (UGH)
Balance $32,345.00

ING $28,405.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,345.00

Check out this amazing deal I got this week at Target! Thanks to my Ma for finding and sharing this deal with me!!

Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner 29.2oz (Bought 9)
Regular Price $5.99 Each
Price Match to Wal-Marts Price of $3.00 Each!
-$5.00 off 3 Pantene Mfr Coupon(2)
-$3.00 off 3 Pantene Mfr Coupon(1)
-$5.00 off Target Coupon ($5 off $20 Beauty Purchase)
*Received $5.00 Gift Card for every 3 I bought (3)
Final Price = -$6.00!!
.66 Profit on each bottle!
(Marked $4.00 each for rummage sale)

ETA - Sold all 9 for $4.00 each on 6/16/14 on FB
Profit = $41.94!!

-It's Friday!
-It's Payday!
-I got a new laptop on Wednesday night, haven't even had a chance to open it yet, but an excited as the old one was very near death.
-I had softball on Tuesday (old team, Rec II) and Thursday (new team, Rec I, higher league) and we won both games, both nights! So I am 4-0! I was a little nervous for Thursday night since it is a higher league then I have played on before and a new team where I only knew one person, but it went very well and it's nice to meet new people that don't know my life is such a mess.

DH isn't moving till Sunday, but will be gone until late this evening and also almost all day tomorrow with work so feels like I really don't have any time left till he is gone. Again last night he insisted he IS coming back. I keep telling him not to say that cause I can't believe it right now.

Will be working on my lists for things to do to make me happy tonight and tomorrow and hopefully spend time with family on Sunday.

Between work, overtime, 2 nights of softball and taking care of the house/lawn, I really don't think I will have much time to be bored. So that is good...when I get bored I start feeling the worst...like I am a loser and no one even cares what I am doing right now... So main focus for now will be to stay busy as I get used to this new stage.

Well this made me happy!

Got an email from CVS that said I am in the TOP 1% of savers at CVS! And it listed my savings from sales, coupons, and CRTs! COOL!

So that is my trophy for the day.

Well DH found an apt and is going to start moving in on Sunday. Deposit was $700 and rent is $700 per month (prorated for this month since he isnt' moving till 5/11/14). I am doing my best to hold it together and think that this isn't the end. He continues to say he is coming back (and now he thinks it's funny when he does an Arnold Schwarznager impression "I'll be Bach!"). He seems much more optomistic then he did before...less of "I don't know if I am coming back, that is what I am going there to figure out" and more of "I am coming back, that is the plan." I of course am trying to not get my hopes up or read into it too much as I am SICK of being let down and feeling sick to my stomach all the time. At this point I am actually looking forward to him being gone just to get some real rest. Sunday is going to be terrible for sure, also it's Mother's Day, which is always a depressing day for me since I haven't been able to have children with DH. It's always been a very hard day for me for the past 6 years and this one will be particularly painful.

Still working on wrapping my head around that this is a step that needs to be done for us to move forward positively. Going to start making lists of things I want to do around the house/yard, for myself, with family/friends to help me feel better. I love making lists and crossing things off....silly thing to make me feel better, but I wil take any little ounce of comfort right now.

Thanks for reading, commenting and thinking of me. I hope I am not too wallowing and scare anyone away.....lol....banker gurl will be back someday...with or without banker boy. I do know that.

This week at CVS when you buy 3 select Neutrogena items you get $10 EB AND a FREE Neutrogena Tote!



Check out this sweet Money Maker!!

Neutrogena Transparent Facial Bar (Bought 3)
Regular Price $3.19 Each
*Received $10 EB for buying 3
Final Price = -.43! .14 Money Maker on each PLUS the FREE Tote Bag!!
(Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 bar for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 2 bars for $1.50 each on FB on 7/4/15
Profit = $4.92

Not sure yet if I am going to keep or sell the tote, I have way too many bags already, but it would be a very nice size for my CVS trips....hmm....
*ETA - I decided I have enough bags and put it in the rummage sale inventory, have not sold yet as of 9/15/14

Got some Easter Clearance deals today! Spent $6.80, saved $68.00!!



Paas Easter Egg Dye (Bought 5)
Regular Price $1.99 Each
-$1.80 Clearance Price Each
Final Price .19 Per box!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping these for DHs students)

Bunny Ear Headbands (Bought 15)
Regular Price $3.99 Each
-$3.60 Clearance Price Each
Final Price = .39 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold all 15 on FB 4/10/15
Profit = $30.00

I tried to get this deal up for everyone last week while it was still available but with everything being so up and down it just didn't happen...well anyways this deal could be done at CVS or at Target. Initially I was going to do it at Target since their starting prices are lower. But I got a $4 off a $10 Shaving Items Purchase CRT from the coupon machine, which made the CVS deal better by about $2.

Gillette Venus Razor $7.79
Gillette Venus 8pk Cartridge $23.79
Gillette Venus Snap Razor $12.99
-$4.00 Mfr Coupon for Razor
-$4.00 Mfr Coupon for Cartridge
-$10.99 Mfr Coupon for Free Snap Razor (Up to $10.99)
-$4.00 CVS CRT ($4 off $10 Razor Purchase)
*Received $5.00 EB for buying Razor and Cartridges
Final Price $16.58 ($5.53 each) for $44.57 worth of razors (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked the Razor $5.00, the Cartridges $15.00 and the Snap $7.00 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold Gillette Venus 8pk Cartridge for $15.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold Gillette Venus Snap for $7.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold Gillette Venus Razor for $5.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $27.00

Special K Bars (Bought 4)
Regular Price $4.39
-$1.89 Sale Price Each
-$1.50 Mfr Coupon off 2 (2)
*Received $1.00 EB for buying 2 (2)
Final Price = $1.25 per box (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping these)

Scope 1 Liter (Bought 3)
Regular Price $4.99
-$1.00 Sale Price Each
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon Each (3)
*Received $2.00 EB on each (3)
Final Price = .99 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $3.00 each on FB on 8/15/14
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $9.00

CVS Brand Dental Floss
Regular Price $2.19
-$2.00 CVS CRT ($2 off $10 oral care purchase)
Final Price = .19!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.50 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $1.50

Revlon Nail Polish (Bought 2)
Regular Price $5.89 Each
-$2.95 on one (BOGO 50% sale)
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon Each (2)
-$5.00 CVS CRT ($5 off 2 Revlon Cosmetics)
-$2.00 CVS CRT ($2 off $10 Make-up purchase)
Final Price = -.17! Money Maker of .09 each!
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.50 (4 for $10 deal) to BF coworkers on 7/29/14
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $6.17

Cover Girl Cover-Up (Bought 2)
Regular Price $6.49 Each
-$3.25 on one (BOGO 50% off sale)
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon Each (2)
Final Price $3.87 each! (Free on CVS GC)($6.00 each at Target)
(Keeping these)

Ivory 3pk Bar Soap (Bought 2)
Regular Price $2.37
-.87 Sale Price Each
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon off 2
-$1.50 CVS CRT ($1.50 off 2 Bodywash of Barsoap)
Final Price .25 per 3 pack! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $1.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.00

I also bought 3 Sephora Nail Polishes off of FB, it was 3 for $2.00, so .67 each. I marked them for $3.00 each for the rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.50 each (4 for $10 deal) to BF coworkers on 7/28/14
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 5/5/17 rummage sale
Profit = $6.00

Thought things were going better, seemed to be going in the right direction. WRONG. Have found out about a lot more "mistakes" DH made. Friends and family have been coming to me now that they are aware there are problems and telling me about incidences. Apparently everyone just thought their run-in with DH was an isolated incident, so they chose to not tell me (not wanting to rock the boat) and so I didn't know. Up to 6 separate people now that some kind of inappropriate texts/comments/interactions happened with. I assume there is more that I don't and may never know about. Everything that has been reported to me has occurred when he was extremely drunk.
He has apologized, but I don't feel it is very sincere because I had to find out about it from other people even after I had asked him several times if there was anything else I should know. Right now I am finding out about a new one or more details almost everyday. SUCKS.
I talked to DHs BF for almost 2 hrs the other night. He is, like me, extremely shocked and saddened to find out about all this about DH. He had no idea either. Before when everything first started coming out back in Nov, BF was extremely supportive of both of us working on things and staying together. Now after all of this is coming out, he basically told me I would be stupid to stay with him. He said it would be extremely naïve of me to think he could/would change his behavior since he won't stop drinking.
I still want to work on my marriage (I am open to comments and suggestions, but please don't blast me for wanting to stay married, I took vows and I'm not perfect, but I did mean them). DH is going to move out. We are trying to find him an apartment. Initially he was talking about buying his own house, he doesn't want to waste money on rent, and said then if things work out and we get back together then we can use that house as a rental. But now has said he will get an apartment while we see what we are going to do, that way if we decide to stay together we won't have two mortgages to pay on, plus it would probably take him awhile to find a house he wanted to buy.
I am feeling extremely sad, lost and confused. I am sad that he is leaving, disappointed, angry. I also feel some small sense of relief that I won't be made to feel like such a POS all the time, and won't have to sit and constantly be feeling his own feelings of disappointment and loss. We haven't nailed down all the details yet. But we will continue to share the cost of the house and the apartment.
Not much else to say I guess...I don't want to quit. But my family and friends are all making me feel foolish to stay now. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel wanted and needed and loved. I still feel that with DH, but so much trust is lost and he tells me he loves and still wants to be married (he said if he didn't he would just go buy a house and move out and be done with it) but it's so hard to know what to believe anymore after I didn't know the truth for so long. I am not willing to let go of 12 years together, but I am also not willing to live in this limbo or be unhappy my whole life.
DH is looking for apartments today. We will go from here and see what happens.....