Banker Gurl's More Bang For Your Buck!

I haven't done Menards Deals in a looooong time...prob close to a year. I went up last week with my Mom and got some goodies!



Women's 2 Pack Shirts, Camisoles and Tanks (Bought 8)
Sale Price $6.99 Each
*$6.99 Rebate on Each
Final Price = Free!!
(Marked $4.00 for rummage sale)
*Keeping 1 of these
*ETA - Sold 3 for $4.00 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 1 for $4.00 at 5/5/17 rummage sale

Women's and Kids Flips Flops (Bought 8)
Sale Price $1.88 Each
*1.88 Rebate on Each
Final Price = Free!!
(Marked $1.50 for rummage sale)
*Keeping 3 of these
*ETA - Sold 4 for $1.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 3 for $1.50 each at 5/5/17 rummage sale

Women's Socks 10pks (Bought 8)
Sale Price $5.99 Each
*$5.00 Rebate on Each
Final Price .99 Per Bag!!
(Marked $6.00 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 3 for $6.00 each
*ETA - Sold 1 for $6.00 at 9/22/18 rummage sale

Finally going to get caught up on my blog this weekend! I am staying with my new man friend for the 4th, he has to work during the day, but I am excited to have someone to watch fireworks with! He lives about 90 min away, so I packed up my car with lots of paper work, filing and what not to get done and am now relaxing with some CABLE while I get my work done!

Hope everyone has a great Independence Day!

Continuing to get things done in the process of getting divorced.

-Opened my own checking
-Opened my own savings in town
-Opened my own ING Savings
-Helped DH open his ING Savings
-Closed HSBC Savings into ING Savings
-Opened my own Discover Card
-Potential roommate came and looked at the house and will be getting back to me on if/when she can move in, she needs to talk to her current roommates to figure this out.
-Appraisal came in on house so now just waiting for the closing date for the house to be done

Definitely getting things moving. Things with X have not been going great. I have been seeing a guy friend I knew 10 yrs ago who randomly came back into my life. I wasn't expecting this, but he is a great relief right now to have someone to talk to. He has also been divorced and has been giving me a lot of advice and guidance on dealing with things and also been nice to have someone to make me laugh and smile. X is less then thrilled with this....understandable....but YOU are the one that wanted the divorce so what did you think was going to happen?? Well, anyways I wanted to check in with everyone on how I am doing. Been super busy but doing alright and things are moving in the right direction.

Went to CVS today and they had TONS of polishes in the 90% off bin. My Mom was with me so we split it and I still got 27 polishes!

I got $142.02 worth of polish for $9.02!!



Nicole by OPI Modern Family Polish (Bought 2)
Regular Price $7.99
-$7.19 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .69 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 on 7/25/14 on FB
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $6.00

Sally Hansen Insta Dry Polish (Bought 12)
Regular Price $5.49 Each
-$4.94 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .44 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.50 Each on FB on 7/25/14 (4 for $10 deal)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 on FB on 7/25/14
*ETA - Sold 8 for $2.50 each on FB on 7/29/14 (4 for $10 deal)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $31.00

Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear (Bought 11)
Regular Price $3.29 Each
-$2.96 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .22 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 7 for $3.00 each at 9/4/14
*ETA - Sold 1 for $3.00 at 9/23/16 rummage sale
3 left to sell

Sally Hansen I Heart Nail Art Striper (Bought 1)
Regular Price $3.99
-$3.59 Clearance Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price .29 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $3.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.00

Sally Hansen Salon Gel Polish (Bought 1)
Regular Price $12.99
-$11.69 Clearance Sale Price Each
-.11 CVS CMC Coupon ($3.00 off $5.00 Makeup Purchase)
Final Price $1.19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $6.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $6.00 at 5/5/17 rummage sale
Profit = $4.81

Covergirl Wetslick Lipgloss (Bought 1)
Regular Price $6.99
-$3.50 50% Clearance Price
-$2.00 Mfr Coupon
Final Price $1.49!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping this)

Got a couple more deals this week.


Charmin Basic Huge Roll (Bought 6)
Regular Price $1.57 Each
-$3.00 CVS CMC $3.00 off 2 Charmin (3)
Final Price .07 Each!! Great price on TP!!

Crest 3D White 4oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $4.39
-$1.40 Sale Price Each
-$1.00 off 2 Mfr Coupon
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off 2 Crest
*Received $2.00 EB Each
Final Price = -.51!! Money Maker of .51 on each!!
(Marked $2.50 each for rummage sale)

DenTek On-The-Go Brush+Floss Kit (Bought 1)
Regular Price $1.99
-$1.50 Clearance Price (75% off)
Final Price = .49!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.50 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $1.50


I did the Colgate deal again on another card:

Colgate SpongeBob Squarepants 4.6oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry Toothpaste and Mouthwash (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.99
-$2.55 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each


So I got 8 Toothpastes for $1.44 each = $11.52
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off $10.00 Oral Care Purchase
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
Final Price = $1.52 for 8 Toothpastes!! Just .19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)

Colgate SpongeBob (4) (Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $1.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $6.00

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 3 for $2.00 each on FB on 11/2/15
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 on FB on 11/8/15
Profit = $6.00

I have all of next week off of work (I always take the whole week of my birthday off ).
So time to get some junk done again! I have a lot of things left to do from my last list, but it just seems to NEVER end right now! So here is what I have so far....

Bedroom
( )Laundry
( )Clean out/vacuum XH closet
( )Move summer clothes into MY 2nd closet
( )Reorganize my fall/winter clothes closet
Bathroom
( )Take out garbage
( )Take out items for XH to take from medicine cabinet
( )Re-oragnize MY extra cabinets
Office
( )File
( )Move 2013 files to permanent file
( )Finish cleaning toys
( )Finish marking toys
( )Enter Coke Points
( )Enter Special K Points
( )Vacuum
Kitchen
( )Wash Dishes
( )Clean off counters
( )Clean off table
( )Clean out fridge (I just did this, but just reorganize and keep clean)
( )Clean off top of fridge
( )Sweep Floor
( )Mop Floor
( )Organize recycling bins
( )Wash new dishes
( )Pack up old dishes for XH
( )Go through/separate small kitchen appliances
Landing
( )Make Calendar for July
( )Put away shoes
( )Sweep
( )Mop
Garage
( )Clean out
( )Sweep
( )Spray out garage
Yard
( )Mow Lawn
( )Mow Lawn Again
( )Clean Hot Tub (I have to do this again because XH ordered the wrong cover, which is too small, so now dirt already blew in there, but now I have a tarp to put under the cover so it won't get dirty fast again)
( )Clean out rock bed and lay plastic
( )Take garbage and recycling to curb
( )Trim bushes in front yard
( )Trim tree in backyard
Other
( )Al-Anon Meeting
( )Wax Eyebrows
( )Paint toe nails
( )$50K - $100K Updates for WIR
( )$100K Updates for WIR
( )Get bike in working order
( )Pick out new glasses
( )Dental apt - Monday
( )Take back library books and get new ones
( )Blog CVS Deals
( )Blog FB Sales
Extra Bedroom #1
( )Pick up room
( )Throw out broken dresser
( )Dust
( )Vacuum
Extra Bedroom #2
( )Pick up extra bedroom
( )Organize closet in extra bedroom
( )Vacuum extra bedroom
Workout Everyday
( )Saturday -
( )Sunday -
( )Monday -
( )Tuesday - Softball
( )Wednesday -
( )Thursday - Softball
( )Friday
( )Saturday - Softball
( )Sunday
Fun
( )Go play Bingo
( )Go to some rummage sales
( )Go to a movie
( )Eat Ice Cream!

Obviously with everything being such a mess in my life right now my head has been scrambled. It's been effecting everything (forgot to pay some bills, tried to take the TV remote outside with me to mow the lawn, start driving to one place and end up somewhere else). It's also been effecting my softball a lot. I've been doing good with my defense, but have been a headcase with batting...I get on base, but not even close to my normal batting and haven't felt comfortable with my swinging.

Last night one of the girls on my team (who I told last week I am getting divorced) was telling me I am just thinking about it (batting) too much. I said My mind is such a mess, I can't do anything right now. She said just go up there and think "F it". About all of it...just think "F it" and I did!

First game I was 3-4, one hit away from hitting for the cycle (I missed the double). Second game 4-4. I hit 2 HRs in one night! I usually only hit 3-5 a season! So EXCITED! Again my HRs are not over the fence...I'm not very big, but I can hit it far enough over their heads and run fast enough that I can get all the way home. In the park or not I will take em! YEAH!

I went to the bank and opened my new checking account today. Also closed the mortgage checking account. I put in $100 from our joint checking (and gave DH a $100 to open his new checking). I also had $600 from a bonus I got and DH said I could take that money for myself, so now I have $700 in there.

Had an AWFUL day with DH. I am just so full of anger right now. He is still not owning up to friends and family about his actions....but throws me under the bus every chance he gets. I talked to his BF today who he supposedly "told everything to" and he didn't know the half of it.....as an example...DH likes to say "I texted inappropriately" Ummmm....NO! You texted MY COUSIN/BF what you wanted to do to her, and when she said "No...Banker Gurl is gonna kill you"....you said "Banker Gurl doesn't have to know". Just own up to what you did and stop acting like you just did tiny little things! (This is just an example...there are lots more and lots worse).

We have been dealing with this for 7 months and he has still not told either of his parents ANYTHING! They have no idea there are any problems and DH is just gonna drop on them that he is divorced.....wow, they are really gonna love that. They live 8 hrs away and are both alcoholics and I have thought about trying to call them, but who knows when they are coherent enough to comprehend, and he is their baby boy after all so I don't think anything good would come of it. I am sure they will blame it all on me....his mother has never cared for me (she showed up to our wedding wasted and yelled at me about the place cards until I cried....YES that happened!), his Dad loves me but I am not his child.

I called his sister a few weeks ago and she wouldn't talk to me.....of course DH told her my mistakes but neglected to mention any of his numerous problems, lies, cheating etc. Makes me SO, SO, SO mad. I know DH will tell only what makes him look like the less evil and sugarcoat all his wrong doings.

I told him this today when he was getting some more of his stuff. Got in huge fight and ended with him "Lets not talk anymore" Me "Finally we agree on something, have a nice life".

UGH. Whatever. Guess I know the truth and that is all I can deal with. Can't worry about all his friends and family that he lies to, most know the truth anyways since DH has cheated in front of lots of them in someway/shape/form.

But anyways glad to have one more thing done on the financial list. Checks are ordered (free from bank) and now my account is all set to go when I am ready for it.

Apparently I never stopped the auto-deposit to the Anniversary Cruise Fund. Guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore at another thing I forgot to do....so anyways here is a deposit for that. I plan on closing that account as soon as that deposit clears.
I also moved the $440 I had in at home savings to ING. I want to get everything into ING for now for ease when seperating.

Current Balance $32,245.00
+$100.00 to HSBC Anniversary Cruise
-$440.00 from Home Improvements (Cash)
+$440.00 to ING
+$15.00 Even Out Amount
Balance $32,360.00

ING $28,760.00
HSBC $3600.00
Total = $32,360.00

I am trying to get back into selling items on FB. I am keeping this money for myself as this is something I am doing on my own and separate from my normal paychecks and DH. I will keep it to the side for now and once everything is done then I will put it towards the house. So far I have $31.50. I have a buyer for a bunch of make-up on Tuesday, if she buys everything she has said she wants it will be $35! So we will see!

Sale #16 (PRM) - $20.00

Discounted items from CVS
Dove Bodywash - I paid $3.00(Free on CVS GC)
Sold for $5.00 = $5.00 Profit

Right Guard Bodywash (2) - I paid $2.00 each (Free on CVS GC)
Sold for $2.50 each = $5.00 Profit

Dial Bodywash (4) - I paid $1.50 each for 2 (Free on CVS GC) and .49 OOP for one, one was my Moms.
Sold in a 4 for $10 deal = $7.01 Profit! ($2.50 for Mom)

Total Profit on this sale for me was $17.01!


Sale #17 (RB) - $10.00

Free Curbside Items
Blue Playskool Rider $10.00 = $10.00 Profit


Sale #18 (MJ) - $1.50

Free Curbside Items
Elmo Socks $1.50 = $1.50 Profit


So far I have made $21.50 off the "garbage" my neighbors threw away!

Found some really good deals on Colgate this week!


Colgate Baking Soda and Peroxide Whitening 6.4oz (2)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate SpongeBob Squarepants 4.6oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $3.59
-$2.15 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry Toothpaste and Mouthwash (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.99
-$2.55 Sale Price Each
Price Before Coupons = $1.44 Each

So I got 8 Toothpastes for $1.44 each = $11.52
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off $10.00 Oral Care Purchase
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
-$2.00 off any 2 Colgate Coupon
Final Price = $1.52 for 8 Toothpastes!! Just .19 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)

Colgate Baking Soda and Peroxide (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $4.00

Colgate SpongeBob (2) (Marked $1.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 on 6/27/14 on FB (I was selling for $1.50, but when she picked it up she gave me $2.00 and didn't want her change??)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $1.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.50

Colgate Kids 2 in 1 Strawberry (4) (Marked $2.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.00 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
3 left to sell

Sally Hansen Extreme Wear (Bought 4)
Regular Price $3.29 Each
-$1.65 off 2 for BOGO 50% off sale
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off Sally Hansen Polish
-$2.00 CMC $2.00 off Sally Hansen Polish
Final Price = $1.46 each (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $3.00 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $12.00

Softsoap Bodywash (Bought 2)
Regular Price $4.49 Each
-.49 Sale Price
-$3.00 CMC $3.00 off 2 Softsoap
*Received $2.00 EB
Final Price = $3.00 for 2, $1.50 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $2.50 Each on FB on 7/2/14 (6 for $15 deal)
Profit = $5.00

Picked up a few more dealies at CVS this week.


I mentioned earlier that I have seen a lot of items in the trial size area that are on clearance. I got some good deals on those today.

Speed Stick Deodorant 1.8oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $2.99 Each
-$2.25 (75% off Clearance Each)
-$1.00 CVS CMC $1.00 off $4.00 Deodorant Purchase
Final Price .49 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $1.00 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for $1.00 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $4.00

Lady Speed Stick .5oz (Bought 2)
Regular Price $1.27
-.32 (25% Clearance Price Each)
Final Price .95 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Keeping these)

Normally I wouldn't buy these unless I get them for free, but I needed more deodorant to have enough to use the $1.00 off $4.00 deodorant purchase and they didn't have anymore regular Speed Stick in the clearance bin. Still a decent price as I use these a lot for my gym bag, softball bag, at my desk at work etc. The profit I will make on the Men's deodorants will essentially make the ones I am keeping for myself FREE!

Lubriderm 1oz Lotions (Bought 4)
Regular Price $1.19
-.60 Each (50% Clearance Price Each)
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off 2 Body Lotions
Final Price - .09 Each!! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked .50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 4 for .50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $2.36

Almay Shadow Softies Eyeshadow (Bought 4)
Regular Price $4.99 Each
BOGO 50% off sale
=$3.74 Each
-$4.00 Mfr Coupon (2)
-$3.00 CVS CMC $3.00 Almay Purchase
Final Price = .25 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $2.50 each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.50 on FB on 9/27/14

Covergirl Outlast Nail Polish (Bought 1)
Regular Price $5.99
-$3.00 Clearance Price (50% off)
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon
-$2.00 CVS CMC $2.00 off $10 Makeup Purchase
Final Price = FREE!
(Marked $3.00 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $2.50 (4 for $10 deal) to BF coworkers on 7/28/14
Profit = $2.50

Bengay Pain Relieving Cream 2oz
Regular Price $6.49
-$1.00 Sale Price
-$1.00 Mfr Coupon
*Received $3.00 EB
Final Price $1.49! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $3.50 for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold for $3.50 at 9/4/14 rummage sale
Profit = $3.50

So I recently found out that I didn't pay my Discover bill last month....or my water bill. HUH?!

Not like me AT ALL. Guess with all the stress I am losing my marbles. I got a late fee from Discover but when I called them they took the fee off right away since I have an excellent payment history. I know they have automatic payment options on their website so I guess maybe it is time I signed up for that.

No late fee on the water bill, I made sure I paid it right away so last month and this month are paid.

Now that I have accepted that there is no chance of reconciliation things have been going better with DH. I don't have to feel in limbo anymore or wonder what is going to happen. We have been doing ok at taking baby steps into the friend zone.

Then last night he showed up at 12:30am, obviously been drinking. Wants to "cuddle". Guess what? I want to cuddle too...I'm lonely and sad and depressed. Turns out we have very different definitions of cuddling. DH did not get his kind of cuddling. So anyways, now today I feel like I took a huge leap backwards in getting my head on straight. I shouldn't have let him stay. Should have told him to leave. Should have yelled at him. SIGH.

He texted numerous times today that he is sorry and shouldn't have done that and that he won't do it again, he knows it was wrong to come over...blah, blah, blah. I have had a sore throat for a few days and so he brought me ice cream today too.

As much as I don't want to make space between us...he knows I am getting lots of attention from other men now (99.9% unwanted attention) that they know I am single and I think that may have been a large factor in his actions yesterday. I am going to just have to be an ass and make my own rules and follow them. No more coming over when you want, even if it is to pack or do laundry or fix something for me or whatever. No more house key. No more garage door opener. And no more calling and texting all the time.

Tomorrow is my 7 year wedding anniversary. Heartdaggers.

I am starting to slowly get funds moved around to get ready for them to be separated. I had $95 in the Mortgage Checking Account, so I moved $90 of that to ING Savings. I also have the cash savings at home that I need to put in there, and I will be closing the HSBC savings into ING as well. Hoping to get all of those done this week. Then all of the savings is with ING and will be easily split.

Current Balance $32,345.00
+$90.00 From Mortgage Checking
+$8.00 Even Out Amount
+$2.00 Even Out Amount
-$200.00 to Roth IRA
Balance $32,245.00

ING $28,305.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,245.00

Today is one week without cable, and it went great!

I am not home too much between work, OT and softball. When I am home I have lots of cleaning, reorganizing and yard work to do, and I prefer to listen to music rather then watch TV. I did watch 4 movies this week, and season 1 of The Office(I have all of The Office, Friends and Sex and the City on DVD, so just those would keep me occupied). I have Netflix still but didn't watch it much other then a few episodes of Frasier before bed. But that will for sure keep me busy when I do feel like watching TV shows.

I also have finally been getting to read more which is nice too.

I am super happy I decided to cancel it, this will save me $50 a month!

Xtra Laundry Detergent 45oz (Bought 21)
Regular Price $2.99 Each
-$1.50 Sale Price Each
*Received $10 Giftcard for spending $30 on select products
Final Price $1.01 each for 21 bottles!!
That comes out to .03 per load!!

This is enough laundry detergent to last me about 4-5 years....I only have to do about 2 loads per week. One for my normal clothes and 1 for my softball/workout clothes, then a load of towels/washcloths every 2 weeks or so.

Speed Stick Gear Deodorant 3oz (Bought 4)
Regular Price $5.49 Each
-$1.49 Sale Price Each
-$4.00 CVS Coupon Machine Coupon off Gear Deodorant (Had 2 of these coupons...wish I had more!)
*Received $2.00 EB for every 2 I bought (2)
Final Price $1.00 Each! (Free on CVS GC)
(Marked $2.50 Each for rummage sale)
*ETA - Sold 2 for $2.50 each at 9/4/14 rummage sale
*ETA - Sold 1 for $2.50 on 9/27/14 on FB
1 left to sell

Test Budget:
Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $100
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1700

Actual so far
Mortgage $1005 (Estimated for after refi)
Heat/Air/Electric ?
Water ?
Cellphone ?
Gym ?
Internet ?
Car Insurance $50 (Estimate as I don't know how this will change yet)
Fuel $42.06
Groceries $0 so far
Netflix ?
Going out/beer $57.67 (Wendys $3.62, Paradiso $18.46, Taco Johns $7.05, Captain Freddies $28.54)
Unaccounted Expenses $150.29 (Lawn Mower Battery $150.29)
CVS $24.90 ($24.90 Laundry Detergent)

So far I am almost at my max for eating out (and it's only the 8th!), way over on the Unaccounted for expenses (and I know there will be more). Other categories are good so far. Will definitely need to make adjustments. Doing my best to have no spend days.

Thanks Another Reader, Petunia and everyone else that responded on my last post. I know it is hard to access my situation as only knowing what you read. And I know everyone is trying to give me helpful advice.

I went to lunch with DH today to talk about things more to keep them moving. He took another car load of his stuff. He is not and will not be spending/taking money he shouldn't be. He still texts me and asks if he can take $20 out of the ATM. It will absolutely not be a problem. He felt bad that he went and bought a $40 pot/pan set from Wal-Mart without telling me right away.

I feel sad and lonely today. But better. Cause I am finally starting to see that there is something better for me in my future. I have been feeling lonely and alone for a few years now. But I wanted my marriage to work so I just kept trying and thought cause we loved each other things would get better. But between the strain of the drinking and his infertility and now learning about all of his indiscretions....it was just too much and now here we are. If he didn't leave, we would stay married...and I would stay lonely. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life...so I keep reminding myself of that. Do you want to be lonely the rest of your life? No. Well then this is what you have to go through now so that it doesn't happen.

I went to Al-Anon again this morning and one of the other member's said something really powerful to me about leaving the past in the past. I need to try to remember that.

I also explained to DH that his actions are that of an a-hole....I told him to take a step back, think of only his actions, and not the person doing them. He agreed that if someone told him how he left the divorce papers, how he texts me nice things, but then does something like that is a total jerk thing to do. He also said he has been seeing a counselor and they told him that he was doing things he shouldn't be doing (asking me to go grocery shopping before he told me he wasn't coming back, which made me think that was a good thing) and that his actions directly effected mine...and that his drinking had changed him and thus changed our relationship. It was good to hear that someone else was telling him these things.

Now I will need to decide if I want to be friends with DH when this is all over. Or if I want him out of my life forever. Ideally I would like to stay friends and say hey do you want to go to lunch or a movie or whatever (not NOW but sometime down the road). But IDK if I can do that or not. I told him that...He has been very clear that he wants to still be friends, but he said he understands if I can't handle that. I said I would like to stay friends but IDK if I can cause I am so mad at you about everything and that you want to be my friends, but you don't want ALL of me...and then he said "Oh believe me I want ALL of you (hint hint)...which irritated me a lot. Don't talk to me like that anymore..ugh. Well not trying to go on another vent, but I am starting to wrap my head around things more everyday and soon everything will be out of the house that is his and I know that will help a lot.

Already mowed the lawn, started laundry, went to Al-Anon and did an Ab workout. IT WILL be a good day!

Yesterday I wanted to be a good day after Wed was terrible.

I worked, then worked 2 hrs of OT, then went and played softball in the rain. Was supposed to have a pool party after that with my softball team, but due to the unexpected rain that didn't happen.

I was happy to go home early though...I have not been getting much sleep, I plan on going to bed early, but instead always stay up WAY to late and then I wake up at 4am (I don't need to get up till about 6:30) and lay there. So again I thought I will go home, shower, get to bed early with my book. Awwwwww....

NOPE.

Got home and I had completely forgotten my Mom was coming by today to take all the pictures down. UGH. That SUCKED! I asked her to do that, but I had spaced it out while at softball and initially I though DH had come and done it! Then I remembered I told her to do that and I totally broke down....while I am stumbling through my house crying like a maniac as I look at all the spots that used to have wedding pics, honeymoon photos and everything else that was my life....I see papers laying on the chair that I didn't put there.

Divorce papers.

Thanks.

He texted me all day yesterday "How are you" "Hang in there" "Have a good day" "Kick some butt at softball" blah blah blah

Did any of those texts say "Just so you know and aren't kicked in the face, when you get home, I took some papers there for you to look at". Was that so hard....to give me a LITTLE heads up!?

Yeah so anyways I was a damn mess. My neighbors probably think there is a dying animal somewhere cause that is what it sounds like...just terrible wailing. I hate it so much....but it just takes me over and I can't stop.

Needless to say the going to bed early did not happen.

So that is my sadness vent for the day.

Now this morning he texted me right away in the morning "How was softball" "Do you want to go play Bingo after work?"

WTF

I have now switched from denial and sadness mode to "let's get this done with NOW" mode. I want to be done. I want the papers signed, I want his stuff out of the house. yesterday was major break down day again. I am SO SICK of it.

I went to the bank yesterday and went over my options for the house. Seems I should be able to afford it even better then I thought so that is good. Again that is without considering my OT pay, roommate, rummage sales etc as extra income.

My credit score was 796. Excellent.

I am locked in for a 30 year ARM. The first 10 years are locked in at 3.625%. After that 10 years then I can refinance or it can adjust yearly to whatever the current rate is. I would imagine within 10 years I will be in a very different spot in my life and have no idea if I will still be in this house so I am happy with this option and low rate. My previous rate was 2.75%, but this is still good.

My payments will only be $684.08 per month (I pay Escrow on my own and that is about $300 per month). DH is currently paying $700 for a 2 bedroom apt in an extrememly sketchy apt building. Housing here is ridiculous. So for me to be able to stay in a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house, with 2 stall garage, parking pad, fenced back yard with deck, shed, hot tub and pay less then $700 is great. At least I will be building equity while I am living here. Of course the numbers could change some depending on what the house appraises at, but should be close to that. This was estimating its worth at $210K. I think that is close. 2 years ago it appraised at $195K. When we bought in 2007 it appraised at $160K.

It was a rough day knowing that basically my last 7 years of house payments were for nothing and my new loan is essentially the same amount as it was in 2007. UGH. But I am glad this is moving now and a step closer to getting out of this stage. I told DH to get papers together so we can finish this mess. He texted me back something about "I will try to do that soon so you can get me out of your life".....UMMMM remember how you are the one leaving??? Ugh, very surprised my phone is in piece today cause oh man did I want to throw it through the wall last night.

Breathe, breathe, breathe..........

I won the Biggest Loser at work!

I lost 4.19% in 2 months. Won $70!

Normally I would put that in savings or on the house but for now I will just hang on to it.

I was hoping to lose more, but I do feel like I look different and toned up a lot more then anything so I am happy with that.

Here is my test budget to use for June. Today is June 1st and I already lost...lol. I had to buy a new battery for the lawn mower..$150. This would fall into the unaccounted expenses category. Of course I have savings to cover things like this, but as the goal is to stay in budget that is unfortunate to have that expense on the first of the month.

Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $100
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1700


On a personal note from last night....I went out with several friends, mainly a couple that have been dating for a lil over a year I believe... He has been my and DHs friend for about 4 years and have seen him with a few gfs. I really like this one, she is fun and bold and they seem great together. She is divorced and I was glad to be out with someone that has been through this. I'm not gonna lie...I got HAMMERED...and I didn't care. And I told them that me and DH are getting divorced. They were already aware of some of the issues from gossip/rumors about DHs mistakes....and they have seen some of his drunk mess-ups first hand. They took me home to stay with them since we were in the town over from mine (where they live) and obviously I was in no shape to drive. Put me to bed on the couch and they went upstairs to bed. Then the BF comes back down sits on the couch next to me and slides his hand up my shorts...WTF??? Is everyone a cheater??? Starting to think I need a separate blog just for all the damn drama. So that was a crappy end to my night...especially when he knew I was so bombed and that my mind is so scrambled and vulnerable right now. Told him to go to bed, he said he would rather stay and play with me. UGH. He did go to bed but WTF. Seriously can't trust anyone.

June 2014 Savings Update

Regular Savings:
Home Maintenance ING $6115
Cushion $3350
HSA $10,800
New Patio Door (cash) $440
Escrow $2160
September 2014 $1825
Short Term Emergency Fund $1025 - Complete
Long Term Emergency Fund $2025 - Complete
New Car $10,310 - Complete
Vacation $3155 - Complete
Anniversary Cruise $3500
Total Regular Savings = $44,700.00

Retirement Savings:
Retirement Hold Account $1775
Roth IRA $9220
Rollover IRA $815
401K $35,000
403B $24,700 (est)
Total Retirement Savings = $71,510.00

Total Savings $116,210

Current Balance $32,300.00
+$22.44 ING Interest
+$22.56 Even Out Amount
Balance $32,345.00

ING $28,405.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,345.00

Well the only thing that makes me feel better the last few months is working out, a few people who know what to say to make me feel better, and numbers. Since I just threw up I am thinking it's not the time to work out, I already talked to my Mom, Jamie is lost and I don't feel like dragging anybody else down...so that means numbers.

I'm not going to pretend I'm all strong and awesome and gonna be ok right now....but I am gonna figure out what I need to do...so here goes.

I haven't had an actual budget in probably 10 years. Have always been frugal in all areas, so that when we wanted to buy something, we don't need to think about it, we can just buy it since we are always frugal in every area. That is going to have to change.

-I called the bank and left a message for our mortgage officer. I have called her a few months ago and discussed our situation, so she is aware that we may be divorcing and one of us buying out the other. I asked her to call me back and hopefully set up a meeting this week to get an appraisal set up and crunch some numbers. The estimate she gave me previously was $1005 for a monthly payment (I would have to go back to a 30 yr, we are currently 3 years into a 10 yr ) Estimate was for 30yr loan, $150Kish, 4.25% (currently at 2.75% UGH).

-I called and cancelled cable, that will save me $50 a month. They will be shutting it off Monday. I rarely watch TV, I have plenty of DVDs and I have Netflix. If I really wanted to watch something on TV I can go to the gym, or my parents.

So here is what I have for a budget so far. Please let me know if I am missing anything or any suggestions. As I said it has been a LONG time since I actually budgeted my money.

Mortgage $1005
Heat/Air/Electric $150
Water $50
Cellphone $50
Gym $25
Internet $50
Car Insurance $50
Fuel $100
Groceries $50
Netflix $15
Going out/beer $75
Unaccounted Expenses $55
CVS $25

Total Expenses $1650

*Mortgage - this is estimated off the numbers I got from the bank a few months ago.
*Heat/Air/Electric - this is an estimate of bills for all year round. I live in ND so we have very cold winters, and very hot summers. I always hold out as long as I can on the heat and air, dress warmer cooler, use blankets or fans etc...but they are both a NEED here so that is my best estimate.
*Cellphone - I do not have a smart phone and have no interest in getting one. This is for a regular phone with unlimited talk and text. I am not willing to change that.
*Gym - There are some cheaper gyms in my area, but I am very comfortable at my gym, it is close enough to walk or bike, is open 24 hrs, and have TVs on all the machines so I could go watch TV there and enjoy the AC if I wanted. In the summer it isn't used as much, but winters here are much too brutal to not have an indoor workout venue. Would like to keep that the same, but will change if needed.
*Internet - Unlimited wireless internet. I can get most sites, including my blog at work (can't get on FB), but would not be doing that on work time. Plus the internet is one of my main sources of entertainment on nights/weekends. I would like this to cost less....not sure what other options there are here, but that is something I can look into.
*Car Insurance - Not sure how this will change, as the $50 is a monthly breakdown of what we have now for two cars. Since I will lose the dual car discount, married discount etc....it may not go down much if at all.
*Fuel - I mainly only drive to work and softball. CVS once a week. Unfortunately I live on the complete other side of town from work so biking or walking would not be an option. However it is only an 11 min drive (if it wasn't ALL uphill I could consider biking in the summer months...but alas I would never make it up all those dang hills). I usually stay at work and work OT until softball time, so no extra driving there. CVS, the mall, grocery store are all close enough that I could easily walk, rollerblade or bike as long as I don't have too heavy of a hall. I need to get my bike in riding shape. I will work on that asap. I think the $100 is a high estimate, but this way I will have a cushion in case I go out of town.
*Groceries - I don't eat much and am fine surviving on yogurt, cereal, fruit, veggies, milk and a few other staples. Already have lots of soup, noodles, rice, spices etc.
*Water - Water bill never really varies much so this shouldn't fluctuate much, or go down slightly since only one person showering.
*Netflix - This is currently at $25 for streaming and 3 DVDs at a time. I don't need the 3 DVDs, that was something DH wanted. I am not sure of the exact cost of just the streaming but I believe it is around $15 or less. I will request DH to cancel the 3 DVDs or open his own account.
*Going out/beer - This one is tricky. Hard to meet new people with out going out at least sometimes. I am going to stop buying beverages for the house (my own drinking has increased a LOT since DH left) and only have drinks after softball. One of my teams prefers to go out after the games (it's usually happy hour...and I don't HAVE to go out every week), the other always tailgates and has a few beers, MUCH cheaper then going out to a bar/restaurant.
*Unaccounted Expenses - Clothes, softball fees, hair cuts, Al-Anon donations, misc household or yard expenses.
*CVS - Since I make money off of most of the items I get at CVS, I am going to try to keep this in my budget. The $25 is actual OOP amounts, not amounts paid with gift cards or extra bucks.

Income:
My take home pay right now is $1000 every two weeks. That is after 6% goes into my 401K and $25 for health insurance. Once DH is off my health insurance, that will go down to $0. So my take home pay will be $2050 per month. That does not include any OT (I average about 7-10 hrs a week in OT which is paid at time + 1/2). I usually have about $200-$250 per paycheck in OT pay. At this time OT is unlimited (up to 12hrs a week that we are open) and it has been for some time, but there is no guarantee that will continue (however I do not foresee the OT stopping at all this year).
I have no plans of cancelling my 401K contributions. I would cancel the gym, Netflix or internet before I would stop that.

So then we have:
$2050 Income
-$1650 Expenses
=$400.00 in the Black each month

So even without OT pay, rummage sales, recycling, FB sales, a second job or a roommate....I should be ok. I will continue to work as much OT as I can, and everything I come in under budget on, plus OT pay will go to savings. I have also reached out to a friend regarding being my roommate...they are going to let me know as they are moving back to town and they aren't sure of an exact date yet. I am not for sure yet if I want a roommate or a 2nd job (I mean I don't want either of those...but you get what I mean).

I will also have roughly $15K in savings when everything is done. So if I had a month where expenses were high I have a good size cushion.

Since tomorrow is June 1, I am going to use this month as a test month for my budget.

Welcome to all comments/advise.

I can't take this anymore. I can' breathe, I can't stop crying. I just threw up my lunch.

How could I be wrong about someone for 12 years. Am I really that stupid?

He asked me to go shopping on Thursday, came to my softball. Been texting and calling. Things seemed good considering.

This morning I went to my 2nd Al-Anon meeeting and got my oil changed, did dishes and actually cooked a lunch. Felt good I did so many things and was productive.

Then today I talked to him on the phone and he thinks it is best for both of us to be apart for good. He is not coming back.

How could I be so wrong about everything in my life?

I knew this was coming out soon, but with all the hub bub in my life I missed seeing it. It came out 5/14/14 and here is the link if you wanna check it out. Very cool to be mentioned (even if I am listed as Bank Gurl rather than Banker Gurl...lol).


http://www.savingadvice.com/articles/2014/05/14/1023084_ways-to-save-money-at-cvs.html

New Focus = Home Maintenance $6105/$7000

Current Balance $32,320.00
-$28.00 to ROTH IRA
+$8.00 Even Out Amount
Balance $32,300.00

ING $28,360.00
Home Improvements(cash)$440.00
HSBC $3500.00
Total = $32,300.00

Continuing on with cleaning out the garage, after taking the cans to recycling, I cleaned out the chest freezer. It was a mess because it has TONS of bags of ice in it in the bottom (save ice during the year to use for snow cones at the rummage sale). I put all of the bags of ice in neat stacks now under the tray section since I won't need it at all unless it's rummage sale time. I have an ice maker in the freezer in the house, so that is what I use for daily ice use.
Before


And After

Now I can actually see what food is in there! All the bags of candy are for Halloween (NOT for me! LOL!). Got a super deal on them last year, only $1 a bag at CVS! So I stocked up since we get 300+ trick-or-treaters.
I found 3 more bags of fish from Mexico (my Mom goes there every year and brings back fish she catches) that I will cook soon. Also some deer sausage, chicken, and frozen pizzas. Now that I actually know what is in there again I can start planning some meals accordingly. Will also need to go through the pantry cupboards soon too....but I think my list is big enough for now!

Took in our cans today. We get a lot of cans donated to us. Several of my coworkers give me their cans at work, plus between DH and I we have 3 softball teams that generate a LOT of cans after games. Took them in today, had 75lbs at .50 per lb totaled to $36.50 (they minus 2lbs for dirt, water and other misc that adds to your total).

Also took in my piggy bank to the bank had $56.14. Deposited $53.50 with the can money, so that totaled to $90.00. The other few dollars will go back into the pig for next time.

Normally I put all change and recycling money to the mortgage. For now I am just going to put that into the mortgage checking account and if things pan out then I will put it towards the mortgage later.

Mortgage Checking Balance = $5.00
+$36.50 Recycling
+$53.50 Change
New Balance = $90.00