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Hmmm...nope, still not working. Has anyone heard anything on if they are working to get that fixed or if there is anything we can do individually to fix it?

I really can't figure out why I can't load pics on my blog. Both my computer and camera are working on other websites.....has anyone had this issue? Is there a max number of pics/data that my blog can hold?

Any ideas/input is appreciated! Thank you!

Hi All! I have been MIA lately, things are just nuts here and I can't keep up!

The wedding is in less then 3 weeks! There is still so much to do and I am super stressed out and having bad dreams about things not being done on time!

The house closing is STILL NOT DONE. We are extremely frustrated. We provided everything that is needed for the loan, then weeks and weeks later we were notified that they needed more, completely unnecessary paperwork! MAD! Example: We need a signed and dated letter that says why you want to move down the street. For real?!?! #1 - Why do you care? #2 - Why is that your business?? If I want to buy a new house, I shouldn't have to explain that to anyone?! Grrrr!

I have been trying super hard to lose some weight before the wedding (unfortunately when DF and I start dating and I finally felt happy again I gained a bunch of weight). I am pretty frustrated as I have been trying really hard and just not getting anywhere.....add to the stress of the wedding and house and I feel like I am losing my mind!

Oh and did I mention the BIG rummage sale is just 4 days after the wedding.....so I have no prep time....

Also I hurt my leg pretty badly in June at a softball tourney, thought it would get better on it's own, it hasn't, so I have been going to PT a few times a week as well.

And now my pictures won't load on my blog at all.....I use this camera and computer for lots of other sites (FB, etc.) where I am posting pics and don't have any problems so not sure why it wont work here.....

So there is my rant! Praying for mid September to get here so I can breathe for a minute!

Starting to wonder if life will EVER slow down!?

The Boston trip went great! We had such a fun time! We went to 2 baseball games at Fenway. Red Sox vs Braves, which are my 2 favorite teams, so fun for me no matter who wins. The Braves won the 1st game, and the Red Sox won the 2nd, PERFECT! We also went to Foxwoods (biggest casino in the world at 8.4 MILLION square ft!) and Mohegan Sun, took a Duck Boat Tour, Old North Church, site of Boston Tea Party, sooooooo much to see and do we didn't even get to see close to everything we wanted, but you do need to relax a little on vaca too. But a fabulous time for sure!
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The day before we left on vacation we had gone to a showing of a home we were interested in. We looked at the house, and then drove to my home town to go to the airport, so not a lot of time to review anything. We both really liked the house....but it was priced a lot higher then we were comfortable with ($310,000), so we wanted to see if we would be approved (we already ran the numbers ourselves and knew we could afford it) and then offer a much lower offer ($260,000). I called my bank lady who I love, but unfortunatley she wasn't able to approve us. There were 2 main reasons for this:

#1 Because we are keeping our two current homes and renting them out, and she was not able to give us any income credit for renting them without having TWO YEARS of income taxes showing the rental income. How are we supposed to get rental history while we are living in the homes?? LOL

#2 DFs non mortgage debt is too high, specifically his HELOC ($30,000).

This was disappointing as I really loved working with her in the past....but we called DF's bank instead....and they approved us!

Sooooooo we made an offer of $260K as we knew the sellers were needing to get out quickly (both the home owner and the realtor had told us that), they countered with $280K. We countered with $270K and they came back with $275K. We talked it over and decided we would agree to the $275K as we really think the house is worth it. About 20 mins after I sent the email that we would agree to the $275K, I got an email that said the seller agreed to the $270K?!?! HUH? So I checked my sent items and the email I sent agreeing to the $275K had gotten stuck in my Outbox, so they never got it and they thought I was playing hardball and they agreed to the lower price! We saved $5K because of me not being good at emailing on smart phones! LOL SWEET! We are now just waiting on paper work to get a closing date. We will have to have all 3 houses appraised ($$$$) so will probably be about 1-2 months before closing date....which would be almost exactly our wedding date.....Oh vei!!
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And the 3rd and last major item to come up in the last week.....DF's Debt....it's not good. I knew he had some CC debt, the HELOC, his mortgage, and a loan through his employer. I was under the impression that the CC debt and store loan were around/under $5K. I had asked him numerous time for exact numbers, but he was always adament that he wanted to work on the debt on his own until we combined finances, which we weren't planning on doing until after the wedding, but since the house thing came up we are doing it now. I also knew that he had purchased my ring, which added about $10K (OUCHIE)worth of debt. Of course anyone that reads my blog on a regular basis knows that I am allergic to debt....so YUCK. But now I find out he was not being truthful with the exact amounts of the debts, this is partially my fault that I went with his "implying" of the totals, but mostly he was dishonest as he tells me now he knows how important finances are to me and he was very embarassed of the position he put himself in. The debt is about $20K more then I thought. EWWWWW. I will post the numbers and our plan to tackle it in a separate post. We had a pretty big blow up about it when he finally gave me the details, I was PISSED. But I do truely believe he is sorry for not coming clean about the specifics right away, he was embarrased and wanted to fix it on his own, and I know from reading tons of debt blogs in my life that people can be very ashamed of their debt issues, so I guess I understand why he didn't want to tell me. He says he now feels a huge sense of relief and that for the last few weeks he has been feeling very down about feeling like he was hiding this from me, so now feels much better, and he is commited to working as a team to get us to a better position.
It's only been less then a week and I have seen some BIG changes in him already (not buying snacks at the gas station, stopped driving his truck to work and is driving his car, went to the casino to eat (comped meal) and didn't gamble AT ALL (this is HUGE for either of us), neither of us will be gambling at all for a long time and if we do gamble again we will have it be a treat, not a regular occurance and there will be limits in place before we go, and also there will be no more credit card use at all for him. We also had a major heart2heart about being completely honest about everything as it only makes things worse to hide issues and I explained to him that the thing I was most mad about was not the amount of the debt, but the fact that he didn't tell me. So now we are fully on the same page and ready to go forward as a TEAM.

So there is where I am at in life today! Oh and did I mention I am getting married in only 2 months! OVERWHELMED MUCH?!? LOL I will be making a new entry shortly with our plan of action!

Around Christmas time DF told me that he had booked a surprise trip for us, and he wouldn't tell me where we are going....finally 6 months later he told me....WE ARE GOING TO BOSTON! Whoo hoo! I have never been to the East Coast so I am super excited!

We are going to 2 baseball games at Fenway, Braves vs Red Sox, my 2 Fav teams!! We are also going to go spend the night at Foxwoods Casino in CT, the largest casino in the US!

He already booked and paid for all of the flights, rental car, baseball games and hotels, so everything is paid for except food, additional entertainment and gambling.

I have $1600 left (out of $2000) from our Vegas trip, so I will be bringing that with for my spending/gambling money and shouldn't need to use it all.


SO EXCITED!! We leave in 4 days!

Just found out a previous friend is pregnant with twin boys. They already have a girl who is about 3 y/o. I actually had blocked her feed from my FB because when her posts popped up it reminded me of a specific episode of XH cheating (not with her, but from the same group of friends). So I guess it's been all over FB since January that they are having twins but I just found out since I don't see her posts.

Just feeling super jealous. I will never understand how God chooses who gets to have babies and who doesn't. According to the drs XH was the one that couldn't have children....but I feel paranoid that I won't be able to because of trying for so many (7!) and never getting pregnant. Also feel cheated of so many baby making years lost with him when he wasn't in it for the long haul anyways.

Sometimes I just have bad, selfish, jealous days. And I hate that. I don't want to be jealous when I find out people are pregnant...I want to be happy for them. I want to feel like a normal person....not a spiteful one. But it stings bad whenever I find out.

The worst is when people say "they understand". Unless you have gone through years of trying, crying, praying. $10K+ in medical bills, uncountable hours in drs offices, embarrassing, invasive tests.....prodding questions by drs, nurses, family, friends, strangers who think it's ok to ask someone "why don't you have kids yet" or "when are you going to have kids".....dealing with all of that....and to end up with NOTHING. If that hasn't happened to you then please don't tell someone you understand.

I know I should stick with "be thankful for what you have" But some days I just can't be thankful and I am resentful that I am not and may never be a Mom. I know I am feeling worse about this lately with Mother's Day coming up as it is always a very tough day for me every year.

Well I have finally started getting a few things done for the wedding.

We have a date - 9/5/15
We have a location - DF's Lake Cabin on Lake Sakakawea
We have an officiant - DF's brother is marrying us
We have a MOH - My cousin
We have bridesmaids dress color chosen - Dark Green (and possibly a dress but waiting to see what I get before she orders hers)
We have flowers picked out - Sunflowers
We have a plan for food - DF's grocery store deli will cater, hamburgers, brats, cheesy hashbrowns, pasta salads, etc.
We have a plan for cake - Cupcakes and a small cake for me and MH to cut.
We have a half of a guest list
We have some plans for getting chairs and decorations.
My brothers GF is doing my hair.
My step mom is doing my makeup, finger nails and toe nails.

So far we have spent $0.

I am feeling pretty good about where we are at considering we haven't actually sat down and done any planning!

The only thing I am concerned about now is getting a dress (I have been looking online, but haven't gone in anywhere yet), and a photographer (somewhat of a remote location, and I don't want to spend $1000s on a photog).

I REALLY want DF's debt numbers so I can race them here too.....but he said he would like to work on them as much as he can before we get married and combine everything. We are both in support of being a team and working together once everything is combined, but he doesn't want to bring any more debt into the marriage then he has to, and I definitely respect that he is trying to improve things himself and not in anyway relying on the savings I will be bringing to the marriage to pay off his debts. He is def not careless or indifferent to his spending (though not on my level of obsessiveness, LOL), but recent expenditures on me (wedding ring set and a surprise trip in June) were bought on credit and he is working on paying those off/down. I believe my ring was over $9K and the trip was somewhere around $3K. Then he will just have his home loan and a HELOC. He has 2 vehicles which are both paid off and also 2 boats that are paid off.




Once we are married we will make the best plan to pay off both houses and the HELOC together. Probably the HELOC first (lowest balance), then his house, then my house. Then build OUR house and rent out both of our previous residences. I think we can rent both of our houses for $1500 a month each, and both of our mortgages are only about $700 per month each. So if all goes as planned (Does it ever??) we should have a very nice rental income each month and within 10-15 years have 3 paid off homes, one for our residence, and 2 rental properties. Cart in front of horse again....lol.




Game plan right now:

-Need to pick a wedding date, we are thinking Aug/Sept as we are getting married outside at his lake cabin, they have a huge beautiful deck overlooking the lake and we want to get married on the deck. Looking at a $5K budget to include everything other then my wedding ring.

-I ordered P90X3 today! We are both going to do the program as soon as it arrives. Wedding Bootcamp!

-I am only waiting for one more piece of computer equipment before my WAH should be all set to go. I have my new computer and phone already moved to DF's house, waiting for my router. I am waiting for my chair and desk too, but I can use other furniture till the ones I want get here.

-Today I am working on cleaning out tons of old, dusty junk at DF's house. It's a lot of work to move two households together, but it's rewarding as well, and feels GREAT to get rid of so much stuff! I already have 2 bags full of recycling, 1 of garbage and about 1/2 a box full for rummage sale. I organization! DF got a 70 inch TV FREE when he bought my ring, so once the cleaning is done this week, we will put up the new TV!

Well firstly I left my phone in NV (HEADSLAP). I must have left it on the charter bus that takes us from Harrah's to the hotel because I know I had it all day the day we left and then when we landed DF had a text from my bro that Harrah's hand my phone. Lucky for me, someone turned it in (I don't have a smart phone or anything inappropriate on my phone, so woudn't have been a huge deal, but still happy not to have to get a new phone). I called Harrah's and they mailed my phone, it is supposed to be here on Wednesday......it is soooooo hard not having a phone....especially with DF living an hr away.

I had mentioned back around Sept that my AC on my car stopped working. Lucky for me again, it stopped working right when the weather was getting cooler, so I dealt with it and soon it wasn't a problem since I live in ND and is cold for many months. Well now we have been having some warmer days and it is miserable in my car. It wouldn't be too bad if I could just shut it off....but it actually blows HOT air at ALL times, even when I have the heat/air turned off. WEIRDNESS. So I do need to get that fixed ASAP as driving to DF's an hr away in 70 degree weather with the heater blowing on me is not a happy time! LOL

Lastly, DF and I have been speaking very generally about combining finances. We won't be doing that soon, we are just feeling things out for what will work for us. I am in a better position financially then DF, and due to past crash and burns (XH!!) I want to do a prenup. We aren't going to do a big lawyer induced pages and pages of legal mumbo jumbo. Just a general division of "this is what I am bringing to the table, this is what you are bringing to the table". We are each also most likely to inherit property from our parents/grandparents, and in the unfortunate possibility that we are no longer together, we want it noted that those properties are to stay with our families, not be divided up. Keeping it as simple as possible. Once we are married we will combine our assets and debts and work as a team! I don't care for separate finances, gives reasons to fight in my opinion. I like the unity of working towards mutual goals, as does DF (he is big on mantra of working as a team).

Any suggestions or comments welcome!

I'm ENGAGED!



BF and I went to Laughlin and Vegas for vaca and he popped the question! YEAH! So excited and happy!!

Feeling good about getting things done already for the big move! Yesterday was day 1 of planning and I am off to a good start!

*Called and cancelled gym membership, I just need to stop there on my way home and sign that I am cancelling. (Savings of $25 per month)

*I made a rental agreement for me and my roommate to sign. Included info for no smoking, no pets, use of rooms, garage (including a cavaet for rummage sale time), rent, utilities, snow removal and lawn care, and end of rental agreement info.

*I forgot to mention, but I filed my taxes last weekend, on 2/8/15, so should have my refund soon.

Plans for this week:
-Sell lots on FB as BF works all weekend, so a good time to get my inventory down before I move
-Go through fridge (which is essentially empty), pantry, and freezer and see what I have to get eaten. The less I have to pack and move the better. So trying to get through as much as I can. There will be a lock down on eating out and buying groceries as I have TONS in my pantry and freezer.
-Clean up garage and laundry room. These are the only areas that need to be cleaned up before roommate moves in. Neither should take very long.
-Move rummage sale items from roommates room to other extra bedroom. (just some items in the closet that need to be moved)

On Monday my boss gave me the good news.....I have been approved to move to work at home (WAH)!! This means I can keep my current job, and move to live with BF!!(He lives a little over an hr away from me currently) Ohhhhh emmmm geeee! So excited!!! I waited all week (TORTURE) to tell BF, so that I could tell him on Valentines Day! I got balloons and made signs and surprised him after he was done coaching out of town so he was totally not expecting anything, it went great and he is so, so happy!

Wow so much to say! So much to do!

Sooooo.....lots and lots of things to do and changes happening!

It will likely be about 1-2 months before I will actually be working from home, still a few things to pass through budgeting dept. Which is actually good since I have so much to do before then!

BF's friend has decided to move into the basement. YEAH! I am working on getting a lease together and also need to do some cleaning up in the garage but otherwise ready. He will be moving in in March. He will be paying $600 a month in rent.

I have a gazillion things to do with getting BF's house ready for me to move in and the office (currently a guest room for him) ready with cleaning it out, and getting a chair and desk. Then for my house, for now it is fine, but will need to be packing and moving things up. Eventually I want to rent the whole house (I would guess in a year or so) and my roommate is aware of this and that I would be renting only the basement for a limited time, then he would have the option of renting the whole house, finding a roommate, or moving out. I need to do several repairs and updates before it would be ready to rent the whole house, so I am super happy that I will have a roommate income of $600 per month while I am moving and getting the upstairs ready to rent.


This will be sooooo many money savers for both me and BF!
#1 - FUEL!!!!
#2 - BF gets a $300 per month allowance for groceries, and any leftover rolls to the next month. This is definitely more then enough to cover all of our groceries per month, so shouldn't have any grocery bill at all.
#3 - I am cancelling my gym membership ($25 per month).
#4 - My roommate's rent money will go towards my mortgage payment and we haven't worked out all the details yet, but I will be paying something towards BFs mortgage. That will be saving us both money as I will be paying less overall then I pay now for my mortgage and he will have some help from me for his payment.
#5 - I will be able to put in LOTS more OT once I am WAH as my office has limited hours but when WAH I can come in earlier, stay later, and also work on the weekends if I want to. So that will e some great extra $$.

There will be lots more money savers once I have my whole house rented, but for now these will be great changes!

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally put pics of my basement up on FB and I have 4 people already that want to come look at it! YEAH! So the one that is most promising is a good friend of my BF. They play on the same bball and softball team. He is very nice and laid back and doesn't drink at all, he also owns his own business and travels a lot for that, so I think this could be a great fit! He is coming tomorrow to see it, fingers crossed!

I like to always do an inventory of my giftcards after Christmas to see what I have and what I need to use up before I forget about them.

Some were gifts, some I purchased for a lower cost then the face value, and the CVS is from my Discover Rewards.

Here is what I have right now:

$5 Target
$5 Target
$5 Target
$10 Applebees (Bonus Card Expires 2/28/15)
$10 Applebees (Bonus Card Expires 2/28/15)
$10 Target
$20 Target
$25 Scheels
$25 Olive Garden/Red Lobster/LongHorn Steakhouse
$25 Walmart
$35 Walmart
$50 Applebees
$50 Applebees
$50 CVS
$50 Texas Road House
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Total $375

Reminder! - If your work or insurance offers any type of reimbursement accounts (FSA, etc.) or wellness incentives, etc. Be sure to get those in before deadlines!

I just submitted for my $200 wellness money, that covers 8 months of my gym membership!!

I have ANOTHER potential lead for a roomate....this is about the 6th person though so I won't get my hopes up. As soon as I do it falls through for some reason. I have a 4 bedroom house, 2 bath, 2 stall garage, fenced yard, hot tub, shed, etc......and now since I have gotten divorced, I live there alone....which is just silly. If BF lived in the same town I am sure we would move in together, but he lives about an hr away so that is not an option right now due to work. So I have been trying (not very hard though) to find a reliable roomate. How my house is set up, the roomate could have their own 2 bedrooms, living room, bathroom and a spot in the garage all to themselves. The only reason I ever need to go into the basement is for the laundry room. The only room we would need to share is the kitchen. Because it is not 2 separate houses, that person would have access to the upstairs (I mean, there is no way for me to lock them out of my area, or them to lock me out of their area) so I only want someone that I know, a friend or family member or a friend of a friend. We shall see if this one pans out or not. I would charge $600 total, (my mortgage is only $768 a month) and that would include wireless internet, heat/electricity and water. If they want cable they would need to pay that themselves as I do not have cable. If I find someone I would put $500 towards my principle every month and use the $100 to cover any additional expenses (additional heat, electricity, and water costs). I have had several people that were interested just by word of mouth, so I think once I have it cleaned up (just needs a good hard scrub down) I could find someone quickly if I really put the word out there, or asked on FB. I just need to actually get the cleaning done. Goal is to have it done by 1/1/15!

BF and I have hit a series of unfortunate events.....

Last week I was up visiting BF and my Dad needed me to run an errand for him, he has a rental in a town jut 10 mins from BF and I needed to run a tool from one town to the other for him...while doing this I ran over a cat. I have never hit anything (car, animal, etc.) before. It just ran straight into the road (I was in a business area, not residential) and I slammed on the brakes when it ran into the road, but wasn't able to stop on time...I was pretty hysterical and went straight to BFs work and he went to check on the cat, but sadly it was already dead. It did not have a collar and BF said they have a problem with stray cats in the area, so I am hoping at least that it wasn't someone's pet...but was still terrible and emotionally draining on me. Poor kitty.

Then last weekend BF got hit was $750 in fees when he was hunting. This was his fault....but he was trying to get deer to help feed his family. He shot a deer for his sister, she wasn't with (she was on the way, she does have a hunting license, and a deer tag)and the game warden came. The game warden was nice about it as BF has never had any other infractions, and he is working with the county commissioner to see if there is anyway to get the fees reduced. On the plus side of that, they did let him keep the deer, his guns, his truck and his hunting priveleges...so it could have been A LOT worse. Also his sister felt really bad about the whole thing and gave him $300 to help with the fees. In the end it was his decision to shoot the deer when she wasn't there, and he has learned his (very expensive) lesson. He definitely won't be shooting deer for his sisters again, they will have to get their own.


Then last night we were driving home from out of town, his Mom lives about 2 hrs away and we went up to help her insulate and winterize. On the way home BF was very tired so I said I would drive his truck so he could nap (2:30am) about 20 mins from home a deer jumped out of the ditch and I had no chance to stop. I slammed the brakes but we hit the deer pretty squarely. BF has a big truck, so the deer had no chance, it went under the vehicle and I am sure died instantly. The truck was still drivable, so BF took over and drove for about 5 mins, but then the safety features on the vehicle kicked in and it wouldn't keep driving anymore because it was leaking fluids. BF thinks the transmission is done for. Luckily for us a trucker stopped and took us and BFs dog home...who knows how long we would have been out in sub zero temps if he hadn't come along. This was in a very rural area so there isn't anyone to call except friends/family. The tow truck came today and brought the truck home (the closest tow truck company is over an hr away, luckily BF has road side assistance so he didn't have to pay anything for that). He has a deductible of $500, we will have to see if the truck is totaled out or not. It is a 2000 Ford F150 and already some other damage to the windshield and passenger door, so it might actually be a good thing if it is totaled, but we shall see....either way....I am ready for this series of unfortunate events to be over!!

BF knows I have a major passion for savings and we have discussed it and decided to open a joint savings account. Nothing crazy, just $25.00 per paycheck from each of us, so $100 per month. We have some lofty goals for the future, and this will be a baby step towards those!

We also had $35 in change from our trip to Laughlin, so we will use that when we open it along with our initial $25 each.

Don't worry, we aren't putting anything else together yet, and everything we put into this account will be equal.

Current Balance $25,125.00
+$375.00 Payday
Balance $25,500.00

Local Savings $1570.00
ING Savings $23,930.00
My Total Savings $25,500.00

OK let me first put a disclaimer that I do realize this was a fluke thing and no this is NOT savings advise! LOL


At the end of August BF and I went to the Pat Benatar concert at the casino. I had lost a bet so I footed the $500 gambling money, with the agreement that anything we won went back to the person that provided the gambling money, and then anything over the $500 we would split. Well we ended up coming out even, so I got my $500 back.

Rather then putting the $500 back into checking, I kept it aside to take with on our trip to Laughlin (in only 4 days now!). Well since then we went to the casino with BFs aunts....and I came home up $700! Then we went again with his aunts and his Dad...and I came home up $350! Then we went with his brother and SIL...and I came home up $250! Then for our 3mth anniversary just the 2 of us went...and I came home up $400! So I turned that initial $500 into $2200!

Insane!

I definitely realize this is not the norm for gambling and I feel extremely lucky! I will be taking the $2200 on the trip to Laughlin to pay for gambling, food and drinks (flight, hotel, and a show were free comps that BF had). Anything I bring home is gravy so can go straight into savings!

Everything seems to be going 100 MPH and I can't seem to ever catch up.

My house is a mess, I haven't worked out in IDk how long (other then coed softball and one day I did the eliptical at the gym while I was getting BFs oil changed), work has been nutso, I haven't been able to get my rummage sale totals done or any of the stuff brought in from the garage and put away...UGH!

The last few weeks have just been insane. Two weeks ago XHs grandmother passed away. This was not too unexpected, she was 80+ and had been in poor health for many years. But still very sad and tough to deal with. Then exactly one week later XH's mother died. Yup. You read that right. So his grandmother and mother both died a week apart. The day his mother died was the day our divorce was in the paper. When it rains it....tsunamis?? Just terrible. XH has not told me the official reason for her death, just that she went to bed and didn't wake up. Her heart stopped in her sleep.

She was an extremely heavy drinker. An alcoholic for as long as I have known her. Had been to rehab at least twice, DUIs, fired from work for drinking on the job, etc. Last time I saw her was February, she had to have a drink by 9am because she got the shakes and couldn't function. She was only 52.

I have been trying to be there for XH, but it is a hard spot. BF is not very fond of us having contact, which is understandable as he has seen the hurt in me from XH that I cannot shake. But he understands (or trys to) that this is a situation of unimaginable circumstance. Both GMIL and MIL lived 8hrs away, so there isn't a lot I can do here. XH went there for a week and a half to help with arrangements and be with family. While he was gone I paid a few bills for him (already been reimbursed) and collected his mail. Normally I would not be doing things like this, but again, when you have so many terrible things like this, I am not going to say no to helping him. Plus I volunteered for anything I could do to help him.

Now it's been about 2 weeks and I am trying to get things back to normal. I don't want to keep talking to XH unless it is absolutely needed. Still hurts to talk to him too much and I have started having bad, depressive feelings again since we started talking more. At least once every few days he says something that crushes me. (He is obviously in serious grief, so it is hard to get angry, so I just get sad, and walk away). BF reminds me, just because he is dealing with major events in his life, does not give him an excuse to treat you poorly, especially when you have stepped up when you didn't need to, to try to console him.

Also the funeral (a double funeral ) will not be until 10/3/14....when I will be in Laughlin, NV...with BF. Since they are 8 hrs away, I would most likely not have gone anyways, as I don't have time off of work, and would not qualify for bereavement since they are not "family" but I do feel bad about not going. They were my family too. If the funeral was not so far away I would have tried to go.

Hoping I will still be able to enjoy the trip with BF, knowing while I am gambling, shopping and lounging at the pool, the person I thought was the love of my life will be having one of the worst days of their life, and I am not there to support them....just makes me feel like total sh*t.

Just HARD. So SAD.

Also there is something wrong with my card (I believe BF said "heater core") and so my car is not driveable. I have been driving BFs extra vehicle for a few days and probably will get my car back next week....estimate $800 for the card repair.

In other news, my BF is wonderful, I love him dearly and am so lucky to have found him and have such an amazing support in all of this mess of life.

BF and I and a few of his family members made an impromptu trip to the casino last night....and I came home $700 ahead! YEAH!

Normally I would stick that into savings or the mortgage, but since we are going on that trip to Laughlin in the beginning of October I will keep it aside for that and now I won't have to take any money out of savings for my gambling money, so unless I lose the bet and have to pay for food, I am going to have 5 free days in Laughlin! SCORE!

8/1 Coke .75
8/1 A&B Pizza $4.98
8/1 Electric Bill $94.38

Out of town for BFs state softball
8/1 Blackjack $50.00
8/2 Strawberry Pop $1.06
8/2 Gordmans $21.01
8/2 Scheel's Earplugs $3.21
8/2 Long Horn Steakhouse $49.37
8/2 Hotel Room/Fuel $100.00

8/3 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/4 - NO SPEND DAY!!
______________________________________________________
8/5 Groceries $35.25 (Milk, bread, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen pizzas, 4 carton of juice, salad dressing, Miracle Whip, Capri Sun for rummage sale)

8/6 Ice Cream Treat $1.00
8/6 Fuel $40.31
8/6 Red Lobster $66.44

8/7 - NO SPEND DAY!!

8/8 Taco Johns $6.16
8/8 Pat Benetar Tickets (2) $40.00
______________________________________________________
Out of town for state softball
8/9 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/10 Fuel $38.31

8/10 CVS $12.29
8/10 CVS $2.15
______________________________________________________
8/11 DressBarn $62.54
8/11 Ground Round $20.00
8/11 CVS $15.85
8/12 McDonalds $3.40
8/12 CVS $17.96
8/13 Fuel $39.91
8/14 McDonalds $4.69
8/14 Cookies for softball potluck $7.98

Out of town for wedding
8/15 - NO SPEND DAY!
8/16 - NO SPEND DAY!
8/17 Fuel $42.00
8/17 Wedding Gift $25.00

8/17 Pop for rummage sale $32.02
8/17 Coed softball fees $25.00
_____________________________________________________
8/18 Breakfast $5.10
8/18 Hooters $27.00

8/19 - NO SPEND DAY!

8/20 Space Aliens $49.00

8/21 - NO SPEND DAY!

8/22 CVS $3.55
8/22 Fuel $36.75
8/22 Taco Johns $5.23

Out of town for Pat Benatar Concert
8/23 - NO SPEND DAY!

8/24 Chinese $25.00


Monthly total so far = $1014.65

Eating out is crazy....any of the bills for food that are over $10 is cause it was me and BF eating together....and he pays for a lot of our meals (though I have been pushing to pay for more)...so we are eating out way too much. I challenged us to just eat out once a week in September, it will help our weight loss challenge, plus give us some cushion for the Laughlin trip. Hopefully we can help each other and pull it off! Other then the eating out everything is ok with me for spending. Fuel bill is high since we were out of town so much. That should go down some now that all of the out of town "trips" are done, however since BF lives out of town my fuel bill will continue to be higher then I would like it to be....but it is definitely worth it to have my rock.

I did have to go to the Dr and get almost $200 in RX on Friday for a surprise eye infection...but since that was paid for out of my HSA I am not counting that towards my monthly expenses.

Only down 1 lb this week..shoot! Was down 2.5lbs at one time,but the weekend out of town for the Pat Benatar concert didn't help things with "grab what you can when you can" food and too many drinks in the diet. Oh well at least I am going in the right direction.


Me - Down 1 lb, .56% lost
BF - Even, 0% lost

Goal for the week, be down 3lbs total. NO SWEETS.
Limit drinking, continue ab workouts and add cardio.

Got the papers in the mail yesterday. I am no longer married.


I called the gym and got our memberships seperated and mine put onto my own CC and let X know he will need to do so as well. Also called my health insurance to find out what I need to do to have him removed. Will be doing that in about a week as X was picking his plan and I don't want him to have a lapse in coverage.

Last night I went through all of my files (back to 2004) and got out all of X's papers (CC bills that were only in his name, resumes, car titles, medical claims, etc.) and put them in a bag for him. Also got the last few items of his from the basement brought up and put in the garage. One of his friends is coming to pick it up tonight. I think that is everything physical out of the house now.

Other then a few things to still seperate (cell phones, Netflix, car insurance etc.) we are done. Contact should be extremely limited going forward.

Found out last night that XH never did stop messing around....even when he said he wanted to work things out and counseling sessions etc. I had accepted the fact that there were probably lots more incidences and girls that I didn't know about....and I was happy NOT knowing. Last night I accidentally found our more junk that I just really didn't want to know. Sucks....BUT I think maybe FINALLY opened my eyes to realize this is not a good person making mistakes...this is a bad person....

Could not be more thankful for my BF right now who continually tells me he wants me to be happy and stop being hurt by someone that never deserved me. So lucky to have found him.

Looking to the future and feeling it will be BRIGHT!

It somehow slipped my mind to post that I did file the divorce papers. Filed last week Wednesday (8/30/14). The cost was $80 which we paid jointly. When we turned the papers in the court clerk stated that there probably wouldn't be anything else to do, we will just get notice in the mail when we are divorced. So sad how simple that is.... Cried like a fool on the way out of the court house and XH tried to comfort me a little but I was crying too hard for him to understand anything I was saying. Bad, bad day.

Well anyways it is a relief to be done and the only sad punch in the gut left is the day I get that paper in the mail telling me I am no longer married. I do hope that I get that done and over with before the trip to Laughlin and can just enjoy my time and look forward and not backward.

Still have some items on the "To Do" list for the divorce, but as long as the house is done and the divorce papers are filed, I am good. Working on the other items though and after the BIG rummage sale at the beginning of September I will have lots more extra time to make sure all my bases are covered.

8/1 Coke .75
8/1 A&B Pizza $4.98
8/1 Electric Bill $94.38

Out of town for BFs state softball
8/1 Blackjack $50.00
8/2 Strawberry Pop $1.06
8/2 Gordmans $21.01
8/2 Scheel's Earplugs $3.21
8/2 Long Horn Steakhouse $49.37
8/2 Hotel Room/Fuel $100.00

8/3 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/4 - NO SPEND DAY!!
______________________________________________________
8/5 Groceries $35.25 (Milk, bread, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen pizzas, 4 carton of juice, salad dressing, Miracle Whip, Capri Sun for rummage sale)

8/6 Ice Cream Treat $1.00
8/6 Fuel $40.31
8/6 Red Lobster $66.44

8/7 - NO SPEND DAY!!

8/8 Taco Johns $6.16
8/8 Pat Benetar Tickets (2) $40.00
______________________________________________________
Out of town for state softball
8/9 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/10 Fuel $38.31

8/10 CVS $12.29
8/10 CVS $2.15
______________________________________________________
8/11 DressBarn $62.54
8/11 Ground Round $20.00
8/11 CVS $15.85
8/12 McDonalds $3.40
8/12 CVS $17.96
8/13 Fuel $39.91
8/14 McDonalds $4.69
8/14 Cookies for softball potluck $7.98

Out of town for wedding
8/15 - NO SPEND DAY!
8/16 - NO SPEND DAY!
8/17 Fuel $42.00
8/17 Wedding Gift $25.00


8/17 Pop for rummage sale $32.02
8/17 Coed softball fees $25.00


*DressBarn was a new dress and a bracelet for the wedding this weekend. Not a NEED, but I think a good investment as I got a very cute, and elegant dress that I could wear for many weddings.
*I have been a lil out of control lately with McDonalds breakfast...it's bad for me in the tummy and the pocketbook. Working on it!
*CVS has been a lot lately....but it is all items that are free after EBs or reselling at the rummage sale.

Monthly total so far = $863.02 YIKES.

I did awesome with my 2nd trip out of town for the month (I am out of town EVERY weekend this month!). I opted to not get a hotel room for state softball so had to drive up Saturday and Sunday, BUT I didn't spend a PENNY other then fuel! I brought my water, pop, snacks and lunch from home. Pretty proud of myself!

I am officially out of CVS Giftcards so I will be having some CVS spending, everything I got so far this month was free after EBs, so I will have EBs for future purchases, but for now I did spend some OOP.

Next weekend the out of town is going to DBF's town for a wedding, so should have very minimal costs there as I will be staying with DBF and eating at wedding, so no food or lodging costs, just fuel and then any money spent at the wedding for drinks or gifts (dollar dance, etc.). So shouldn't be too expensive of a weekend.

8/1 Coke .75
8/1 A&B Pizza $4.98
8/1 Electric Bill $94.38

Out of town
8/1 Blackjack $50.00
8/2 Strawberry Pop $1.06
8/2 Gordmans $21.01
8/2 Scheel's Earplugs $3.21
8/2 Long Horn Steakhouse $49.37
8/2 Hotel Room/Fuel $100.00

8/3 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/4 - NO SPEND DAY!!
______________________________________________________
8/5 Groceries $35.25 (Milk, bread, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen pizzas, 4 carton of juice, salad dressing, Miracle Whip, Capri Sun for rummage sale)

8/6 Ice Cream Treat $1.00
8/6 Fuel $40.31
8/6 Red Lobster $66.44

8/7 - NO SPEND DAY!!

8/8 Taco Johns $6.16
8/8 Pat Benetar Tickets (2) $40.00
______________________________________________________
Out of town
8/9 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/10 Fuel $38.31

8/10 CVS $12.29
8/10 CVS $2.15

Monthly total so far = $566.67 YIKES.

8/1 Coke .75
8/1 A&B Pizza $4.98
8/1 Electric Bill $94.38

Out of town
8/1 Blackjack $50.00
8/2 Strawberry Pop $1.06
8/2 Gordmans $21.01
8/2 Scheel's Earplugs $3.21
8/2 Long Horn Steakhouse $49.37
8/2 Hotel Room/Fuel $100.00

8/3 - NO SPEND DAY!!
8/4 - NO SPEND DAY!!
______________________________________________________
8/5 Groceries $35.25 (Milk, bread, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen pizzas, 4 carton of juice, salad dressing, Miracle Whip, Capri Sun for rummage sale)

8/6 Ice Cream Treat $1.00
8/6 Fuel $40.31
8/6 Red Lobster $66.44

8/7 - NO SPEND DAY!!

8/8 Taco Johns $6.16
8/8 Pat Benetar Tickets (2) $40.00

Monthly total so far = $513.92 YIKES.

So I think I am doing ok....the tracking of the money is definitely making me think twice when I wanna grab a snack or a quick bite to eat.(Hard to tell when you look at my tracking, but I swear it's helping!)

I am out of town again this weekend, this time for my state softball tournament. I elected to drive down and come back the same day (it's about 90 miles away) rather then getting a hotel room. We play Saturday and if we win will play again Sunday. So potentially could be a lot of driving, but would rather be at home and save the hotel money and get stuff done for the rummage sale, especially if we lose Saturday I don't want to have a hotel room for no reason. I am planning on eating breakfast at home before I go and packing a lunch bag to eat lunch after the game. If my team goes out to eat after the game I may join them for comradery, but not sure yet, as some are drving back and some are staying in a hotel, and some staying with relatives, so we may all disperse after the game anyways. So other then fuel, I shouldn't have any costs for the trip. I will bring water with in a cooler.